Today's Love Tip
The single life can wear on someone when it seems like dating has become less enjoyable and more of a job. The concept of "burnout" normally is applied to work situations, but it's very real for those trying to find love, too. Well-meaning... Read More
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How To Handle Money Matters In Marriage
It is good to know what your spouse does with all their money but it is not necessary. Make life easier in your marriage and avoid quarrels by understanding what value your partner puts to money. Financial issues are extremely sensitive in most relationship/marriage more than sexual matters. The secret to avoiding financial conflicts especially for married couples and any other couple staying together is to plan for it well.

This is how to do it.{relatedarticles}

1. Ensure you know how much is needed in a month for your basic living needs and how much you need to save in your joint account monthly.
2. Any other needs or wants that you may need to take care of together should be added.

 

3. Once you have added all your needs, wants and savings that you need to take care of together, then depending on how much each one of you earns, share the costs, making sure that the one who earns more contributes a higher percentage of the cost.


4. Whatever is left after the cost is shared is for the individual to know how or what to spend on. One should not nag their partner concerning what is left because apart from the normal basic needs, we have our own individual needs that are separate from the general needs, and those should be respected.

5. Allow your partner to be who they want to be or do what they need to do with the rest of their money, and you will definitely have some peace in the house.{relatedarticles}
Try this short recipe and see how it works wonders in you relationship. It has worked wonders in mine.

About The Author

Hesbon Kerongo is widely recognized as one of the most successful personal growth blogger on the Internet, attracting many monthly readers to his Web site, personalgrowthtowardssuccess.com.

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5 Things You Should Never Do After Calling It Quits

A breakup is one of the most stressful things any of us can go through in our lives. Even when your rational mind knows the relationship is toxic, it's hard to let go of the emotional and fearful thoughts telling us life without the relationship is impossible. But have no fear. New beginnings lie behind the break.

Think of your relationship split like cutting off a malignant tumor. There is pain while it is being removed, and that hurt can last for a while. But in time, as your heart repairs, you will begin to feel better. As cliche as it may sound, time heals all wounds. {relatedarticles}

Be patient as you evolve through this life-changing event, keeping in mind these 5 things you should never do right after calling it quits.

1. Don't Use Selective Memory

When that lonely feeling arises (and it will), you need to know that your mind is likely to wander back to a point in your relationship when all was well and the two of you were happy together. At times like these, for whatever reason, our memories often will recall only the good times. You'll start wondering why you two ever decided to split in the first place.


Reminiscing about the good times is really a regression of your emotional progress. You should never allow yourself to call or go visit your ex in a moment of weakness. This will just set you back emotionally and you'll have cheated yourself out of time.

There are reasons you two are not together anymore, and you need to bring those to mind forcefully. Don't forget all those irritating habits he or she had that you could not stand; remember all the fights.

If you think there may be a possibility that the two of you could mend your differences, you still need to give yourself a break away from each other. Your ex needs to earn his way back into your life and prove he is worth it.{relatedarticles}

2. Don't Be Friends

For the first few months following a breakup, you should not socialize together if at all possible. You should try to have no contact with your ex -- no meeting up in person or contacting each other over the phone, via email, text messaging or connecting on social networking sites. As the saying goes, old habits die hard. It is just too easy to fall back into the relationship. It's like an old, comfortable chair.

But you've got to remember that chair is full of dander and parasites that you really don't want crawling all over your skin! Plus, it can be just torturous to your heart to be around your ex, especially if he's the flirtatious type. Don't do that to yourself. And never, ever fall into the trap of indulging in one last romp for "old time's sake." What's done is done -- and that includes your sexual encounters with him.


Keep your distance and spend time with the best company around - you! Do all the things you love. You may have to relearn who you really are and find out what makes you happy. Being a couple is all about compromise. Now you can concentrate selfishly on yourself, so do it!

3. Don't Keep Remembrances in Plain Sight

A great first step in getting past the relationship is to go through your home, phone, car, wallet, etc. and put away all those things that remind you of your former partner. From photographs and gifts to his favorite foods and CDs, all these items can slow your emotional growth. By removing them from plain sight, this action alone reaffirms your intention to move on with your life.{relatedarticles}

Although you may feel like trashing some of these things, it is best to store them in a box that you can put away for the time being. Remember, the moments you spent with him are a part of your life's history and probably have changed you in one way or another.

After all the emotion is gone and you've transitioned past this point in your life, you may want to revisit the box and the memories it holds. Then you will have a clear understanding of what you want to keep and what you might want to give away.

4. Don't Jump Into Another Relationship

It is so easy to replace your ex with another warm body, and many of us do just that. Unfortunately for you and for the new beau, the relationship is more than likely doomed. Most people coming out of a long-term relationship are not emotionally ready to hold up their end of the bargain in a new commitment. There is too much baggage that hasn't been sorted through and resolved.


Keep in mind, this doesn't mean you can't go out. By all means, have a dating frenzy. Meet new people, experience new things and enjoy the company of others. Take the time to have fun before becoming exclusive with someone new. You need to get to know yourself again before you can give that next guy the best of you.

5. Don't Isolate Yourself

Feelings of depression are normal when a relationship ends. This may lead you to crawl under the covers and sleep for days or stay up all hours of the night watching romantic movies. You may not want to communicate with anyone, but it is important that you do.{relatedarticles}

Isolating yourself is really a form of punishment. You have to be willing to ask for help. Look for a friend or family member with a shoulder you can cry on. You may even want to seek out a professional counselor to work through these feelings of despair and loneliness.

The first few months after a breakup will be full of ups and downs. Bear in mind, you are going through something traumatic. Give yourself permission to be sad, depressed and confused as well as relieved, happy and excited about what lies ahead. Just know that the pain will eventually lessen. It will not be like this for the rest of your life. You will heal and be OK.

And always remember, an ending is just the start of new beginning.


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Save My Relationship - How To Get a Second Chance
In order to salvage your marriage and stop a divorce, you need to sway your ex to give the partnership a second chance. Still, how do you actually do this?

Regardless if divorce papers have already been filed and served, not all hope is lost. A divorce can be prevented at just about any point, regardless of whether you split yesterday or a year ago. Nonetheless, the quicker that you can ward off a divorce, chances are, divorce proceedings won't be restarted.{relatedarticles}

To preserve your marriage and stop the divorce, you will have to persuade your spouse to give you and your relationship a second chance. If you've been unrelenting, begging, even hounding your ex to get back together with you, halt instantly. This is the biggest mistake that most people make, and one of the worst things that you can do. You may be pondering that "if I don't keep working to get my ex back, then we'll never get back together."


It does seem counter-intuitive to allow someone the room that they require in order to get them back. It boils down to a psychological way of thinking called The Scarcity Theory. Simply speaking, the more you prevent someone access to something, the more that they want it. It's akin to the Law of Supply and Demand...the rarer something is, the more it is worth to someone.
If something is in abundance, not a lot of value is linked to it. So if you're in surplus to your partner, always begging him or her to take you back, it's not likely that he or she will find it attractive, and your marriage will be lost for good.{relatedarticles}

Rather than behaving badly, ranting and raving to your partner to take you back, try behaving like a mature adult. It will probably come as a pleasurable surprise to your ex and go a long way to stopping the divorce. Calmly accept that your marriage has experienced some tough times recently, and you're hurt, but you'd really like to give your relationship a second chance. Remember... be relaxed and truthful.


Yet another strategy to prevent divorce is to reveal your maturity and love by suggesting marital or couples counseling. Counseling has been effective for millions of individuals and couples. Your relationship will very likely benefit from it. Men and women, physically, are obviously different. What isn't obvious to a lot of people is that men and women, psychologically and emotionally, are VERY different. It is crucial to acknowledge this and fully understand exactly HOW they differ, so that you better comprehend your spouse's thoughts and emotions.

While in your counseling visits, you'll be given the opportunity to demonstrate to your spouse why you love him. You can remind him why you fell in love in the first place, and how you desire to have those days back, instead of fighting and arguing all of the time. Be honest, and give an honest attempt in wanting to clear up the marital problems that come up during counseling. That in itself may be enough to persuade your partner to stop the divorce for the time being, and perhaps permanently.{relatedarticles}

If you succeed in avoiding the divorce, remember that the tricky part is yet to come. You and your partner have a good deal of repairing to do. Bear in mind that the other person was prepared to divorce you, and it would be easy for them to change their mind and file for divorce later. Having initiated a divorce once already makes the decision to file again much easier. Be cognizant of the state of your relationship, and continue counseling.


Relationships can be complicated at times and something that you must constantly work on both individually and as a couple. However, just as they can be difficult, remember that they can also be very satisfying. Go now, download my free ebook and videos, and discover the steps you need to take to help get your ex back. If you use these free resources, I'm certain that they'll help you to Get Your Husband Back.{relatedarticles}

About The Author

Rebecca is one of the authors at TheMarriageCounsellor.com. She helps couples repair and rebuild their challenged relationships. Relationships can be very difficult. However, they can also be very rewarding. Discover the steps you should to take if you want to heal your sorrow, and let go of your frustration and anger, and be blessed with a loving, caring, rewarding relationship.

Uncover the exact steps you need to take to get your ex back. For a limited time, you'll get access to my book Tips to Save Your Marriage absolutely free. You'll also get access to videos where you'll learn things like the very first thing you should, and shouldn't, do immediately after a break-up. Go now, and discover how to get back your ex and rekindle that old flame.


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