Today's Love Tip
Breaking up is hard to do, as the old song goes, and it really does ring true. Whether the relationship is slowly petering out or crashes and burns suddenly, a breakup most always leads to bruised feelings at best or scorching hate at worst.... Read More
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Dirty Talk for Shy Women

Believe it or not, dirty talk isn't just reserved for phone sex operators and porn stars. Even the average Jane is capable of some serious trash talking if it means turning on her man. Many guys get a cheap thrill over having their girls talk sexy smack. If the notion of talking dirty intimidates you, keep an open mind before you vow to close your mouth.

Dirty talk is becoming more commonly accepted in modern relationships, and some men even request or accept it. Although the mere thought of talking dirty can be embarrassing, there are some ways you master the art of dirty talk and quickly become a pro.

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What does your man like?

When it comes to sex, you can't please your man if you don't know what he wants or how he likes it. The same holds true for dirty talk, so if you don't know, it never hurts to ask. You'll want to get to the bottom of what types of words or phrases turn him on.

Before you embark on this hot new journey, it's definitely a good idea to have a talk before some "talk." You want to get a good grasp on his likes and dislikes. Although you may feel stupid for asking, having a frank discussion with him helps you know your man better. It's no different than how you would address anything else that goes on behind closed doors. Plus, if he really loves you, he will be patient and helpful.


Learn from the Pros

Watch some porn for inspiration. Although many adult films are badly scripted, you may be able to take away some ideas from these flesh flicks. Read an erotic book for tips. A dirty magazine with photos and sexy stories can be helpful. Consider reading them aloud to your man for inspiration. If you have enough courage, call a phone sex operator and ask for advice.

Start Slow

You're not going to become an expert right away, so ease into the process. If talking dirty in person makes you cringe, start with email or text messaging. Emails and texts allow you to think before you send, so you have a little extra time to come up with something naughty. Plus, you don't see your partner's reaction, so it eases some of the pressure.

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Once you feel more comfortable, make the seamless transition to phone sex. You'll actually be talking dirty to your man, but not face-to-face. Of course, you won't see any of his reactions, which can make it a little easier. Once you have conquered this step, it's time to move on to the real deal.


Know Your Limits

You don't have to swear like a sailor to engage in dirty talk. If you don't feel comfortable using dirty words, then keep it clean -- as in profanity free. Your man should understand and want you to feel comfortable. Plus, dirty talk quickly loses its allure when it seems rigid or forced. .

Start with things you are comfortable with saying. For example, if you and your man have special names for your private areas, use them. Feel free to use metaphors for things you want to say, but would otherwise feel uncomfortable saying. For example, instead of using the F-word, you can use verbs like "do me" or "thrust me" without sounding like a hardcore porn star.

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You can also use examples of "soft" dirty talk to get you started and hopefully rev your man's motor. Some simple but effective phrases you can use include "You really turn me on when you do that," "Want to see what I really want?" or "Punish me, I've been naughty today." The trick is not simply to "copy" phrases that you've seen or heard, but to actually say what you want to do and or what you are thinking. In other words, put some feeling behind it.

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Once you feel comfortable with these types of phrases, you can move on to dirty talk that's a little more provocative. You can start by describing what you're going to do your man before you actually do it. This will get him excited in anticipation of what will happen next. You can says things like "I'm going to take control of you tonight," "I'm going to strip for you right now" or "I'm going to kiss you all over."


If you get comfortable with these phrases, you can move on to hardcore dirty talk - the crème de la crème. Without embarrassment, you tell your man how you really feel. Let loose and say whatever is on your mind sexually speaking. Use your imagination and let your inhibitions run wild. Your man will think he's with a hot porn star.

Relax

You're probably getting stressed out, thinking how you can muster up the courage and ability to talk like this to your man. But the main thing is to relax and just let things happen naturally. You know how when your man stresses out about sex, he doesn't perform as well? It's the same with dirty talk. If you stress too much, it sounds unnatural and forced, which is the opposite of what you're trying to accomplish.

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Granted, some people work well under pressure, but when you're still learning the ropes of successful dirty talk, relaxation is very important. Practice makes perfect. As long as you're trying your best to not let your shyness overcome you, then your man should be pleased with your progress.


Although talking dirty can make many shy women feel immoral or disgusting, learning the art of dirty talk can make actually bring you closer to your man. Once you get accustomed to the act, it can actually improve your sex life by turning on your significant other.

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A little old fashioned dirty talk actually helps women let go of those inhibitions and experiment in the bedroom. If your man enjoys dirty talk, consider cutting loose and cultivating a mouth that's worthy of some soap.


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How To Handle Money Matters In Marriage
It is good to know what your spouse does with all their money but it is not necessary. Make life easier in your marriage and avoid quarrels by understanding what value your partner puts to money. Financial issues are extremely sensitive in most relationship/marriage more than sexual matters. The secret to avoiding financial conflicts especially for married couples and any other couple staying together is to plan for it well.

This is how to do it.{relatedarticles}

1. Ensure you know how much is needed in a month for your basic living needs and how much you need to save in your joint account monthly.
2. Any other needs or wants that you may need to take care of together should be added.

 

3. Once you have added all your needs, wants and savings that you need to take care of together, then depending on how much each one of you earns, share the costs, making sure that the one who earns more contributes a higher percentage of the cost.


4. Whatever is left after the cost is shared is for the individual to know how or what to spend on. One should not nag their partner concerning what is left because apart from the normal basic needs, we have our own individual needs that are separate from the general needs, and those should be respected.

5. Allow your partner to be who they want to be or do what they need to do with the rest of their money, and you will definitely have some peace in the house.{relatedarticles}
Try this short recipe and see how it works wonders in you relationship. It has worked wonders in mine.

About The Author

Hesbon Kerongo is widely recognized as one of the most successful personal growth blogger on the Internet, attracting many monthly readers to his Web site, personalgrowthtowardssuccess.com.

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5 Things You Should Never Do After Calling It Quits

A breakup is one of the most stressful things any of us can go through in our lives. Even when your rational mind knows the relationship is toxic, it's hard to let go of the emotional and fearful thoughts telling us life without the relationship is impossible. But have no fear. New beginnings lie behind the break.

Think of your relationship split like cutting off a malignant tumor. There is pain while it is being removed, and that hurt can last for a while. But in time, as your heart repairs, you will begin to feel better. As cliche as it may sound, time heals all wounds. {relatedarticles}

Be patient as you evolve through this life-changing event, keeping in mind these 5 things you should never do right after calling it quits.

1. Don't Use Selective Memory

When that lonely feeling arises (and it will), you need to know that your mind is likely to wander back to a point in your relationship when all was well and the two of you were happy together. At times like these, for whatever reason, our memories often will recall only the good times. You'll start wondering why you two ever decided to split in the first place.


Reminiscing about the good times is really a regression of your emotional progress. You should never allow yourself to call or go visit your ex in a moment of weakness. This will just set you back emotionally and you'll have cheated yourself out of time.

There are reasons you two are not together anymore, and you need to bring those to mind forcefully. Don't forget all those irritating habits he or she had that you could not stand; remember all the fights.

If you think there may be a possibility that the two of you could mend your differences, you still need to give yourself a break away from each other. Your ex needs to earn his way back into your life and prove he is worth it.{relatedarticles}

2. Don't Be Friends

For the first few months following a breakup, you should not socialize together if at all possible. You should try to have no contact with your ex -- no meeting up in person or contacting each other over the phone, via email, text messaging or connecting on social networking sites. As the saying goes, old habits die hard. It is just too easy to fall back into the relationship. It's like an old, comfortable chair.

But you've got to remember that chair is full of dander and parasites that you really don't want crawling all over your skin! Plus, it can be just torturous to your heart to be around your ex, especially if he's the flirtatious type. Don't do that to yourself. And never, ever fall into the trap of indulging in one last romp for "old time's sake." What's done is done -- and that includes your sexual encounters with him.


Keep your distance and spend time with the best company around - you! Do all the things you love. You may have to relearn who you really are and find out what makes you happy. Being a couple is all about compromise. Now you can concentrate selfishly on yourself, so do it!

3. Don't Keep Remembrances in Plain Sight

A great first step in getting past the relationship is to go through your home, phone, car, wallet, etc. and put away all those things that remind you of your former partner. From photographs and gifts to his favorite foods and CDs, all these items can slow your emotional growth. By removing them from plain sight, this action alone reaffirms your intention to move on with your life.{relatedarticles}

Although you may feel like trashing some of these things, it is best to store them in a box that you can put away for the time being. Remember, the moments you spent with him are a part of your life's history and probably have changed you in one way or another.

After all the emotion is gone and you've transitioned past this point in your life, you may want to revisit the box and the memories it holds. Then you will have a clear understanding of what you want to keep and what you might want to give away.

4. Don't Jump Into Another Relationship

It is so easy to replace your ex with another warm body, and many of us do just that. Unfortunately for you and for the new beau, the relationship is more than likely doomed. Most people coming out of a long-term relationship are not emotionally ready to hold up their end of the bargain in a new commitment. There is too much baggage that hasn't been sorted through and resolved.


Keep in mind, this doesn't mean you can't go out. By all means, have a dating frenzy. Meet new people, experience new things and enjoy the company of others. Take the time to have fun before becoming exclusive with someone new. You need to get to know yourself again before you can give that next guy the best of you.

5. Don't Isolate Yourself

Feelings of depression are normal when a relationship ends. This may lead you to crawl under the covers and sleep for days or stay up all hours of the night watching romantic movies. You may not want to communicate with anyone, but it is important that you do.{relatedarticles}

Isolating yourself is really a form of punishment. You have to be willing to ask for help. Look for a friend or family member with a shoulder you can cry on. You may even want to seek out a professional counselor to work through these feelings of despair and loneliness.

The first few months after a breakup will be full of ups and downs. Bear in mind, you are going through something traumatic. Give yourself permission to be sad, depressed and confused as well as relieved, happy and excited about what lies ahead. Just know that the pain will eventually lessen. It will not be like this for the rest of your life. You will heal and be OK.

And always remember, an ending is just the start of new beginning.


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