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4 Sizzling Movies to Turn up the Spice

Ask your man about his idea of a hot movie to get you in the mood, and it's likely you'll get a one-word answer: porn. The notion makes many of us ladies cringe our noses, but why is that? It probably has something to do with the way we're wired. When it comes to steamy flicks to get us in the mood, having an in-depth story line definitely helps, anything to give that emotional connection. Then again, if you're looking for a film that gets both of you in the mood, you don't want anything borderline sappy chick-flick.

It's a fine balance, finding a movie that will appeal to his basic instincts and your need to connect and stimulate all senses. Luckily, some of the major movie studios haven't let us down. There is a little bit of something for everyone here, with some tempting options spanning the 80s, 90s, and today. Here's our take on the top 4 hottest movies to get you going.

Wild Orchid

What it's About: When Emily accepts a job with an international law firm, it comes with one condition: She must be able to fly out the next day to Rio de Janeiro to help the firm's top executive, Claudia, close the sale of a hotel. A turn of events pulls Claudia away to Buenos Aires, and Emily is encouraged to take her boss' date, James Wheeler, for the night. Emily is instantly drawn to Wheeler's quiet and intriguing personality. After a slew of sexual encounters (including one with a masked stranger at Carnival and heated conversation with Claudia and a surfer in their hotel room) the sexual tension Emily feels for Wheeler comes to a breaking point.

Why it's Hot: The scent of wild orchids like the ones Wheeler gave Emily can all at once be both overwhelming but beautiful, much like the intoxicating cloud that seems to envelope the setting for this movie with lustful undertones. Add the steaminess of Rio with the intrigue of Carnival and the allure of Mickey Rourke (in 1989, pre-surgery of course) and it's no wonder that Emily was swept along on a wave of lust and desire that even she couldn't seem to control.

Tasty Tidbit: The original cut was edited to be suitable for an R-rating. Look for the uncut version, with a love scene between Claudia and Wheeler that is rumored to this day to be more than merely acting.

9 1/2 Weeks

What it's About: This mid-80s flick could be described as borderline "S&M in the City." A chance meeting at a Chinese grocery store in New York City is where their eyes first locked. As luck would have it, Elizabeth (played by Kim Basinger), a Soho art gallery assistant, and John, a commodities broker, meet again at a local flea market. This time, John presents her with a stole, and after taking her back to his houseboat, offers an experimental sexual relationship. She accepts, and in the weeks that follow, Elizabeth is swept up in the eroticism. As the sexual journey unfolds, the movie comes to an unexpected conclusion.

Why it's Hot: In everyday life, it seems there is a routine, a familiarity with relationships and intimacy. From the start, Elizabeth and John do not follow the traditional path of romance. After all, John blindfolds her during their first sexual encounter - a foreshadowing of what is to come. As the movie unfolds, John calls Elizabeth at random times, encourages her to experiment with her sexuality, pushing her to the brink of her limits. As the two fall deeper into their sexual obsession, Elizabeth spends her workdays in a haze, perhaps partly from lust and partly from lack of sleep.

Once again, it doesn't hurt that John is played by a 1980s Mickey Rourke, the decade's hottest commodity.

Tasty Tidbit: One scene to watch for is when John blindfolds Elizabeth and feeds her an array of foods, tantalizing the senses. Want to know what makes this scene perhaps the most talked about from the entire film? You'll have to watch and find out.

Basic Instinct

What it's About: This movie has some of the most alluring facets of a Hollywood film. It has a little rock "n roll, mixed with murder and of course - sex. The stage is set with the murder of rocker Johnny Boz. When San Francisco detective Nick Curran (Michael Douglas) is assigned to the case, he immediately suspects that crime novelist Catherine Trammel (Sharon Stone), also coincidentally Boz's girlfriend, viciously killed him. The murder weapon: an ice pick.

Interrogating her turns out to be harder than he could have imagined. Catherine is not only intense and seductive, she's also clever. What follows next is a mind game first fueled by lust and then lived out in wild sexual forays the likes Curran has never experienced.

Why it's Hot: Nick and Catherine's relationship begins as a cat-and-mouse game of sorts. The mind games build anticipation for the torrid sexual relationship to follow. Mixed in is a sense of danger. Catherine says she'll base her next novel's main character on a cop who falls in love with a woman who eventually kills him. This flick is truly a thriller with explicit sex scenes thrown in, for good measure.

Tasty tidbit: Director Paul Verhoeven must have done something right, because the thriller turned out to be one of the top grossing films of the 90s, raking in more than $350 million. The original version was originally rated NC-17, but after cutting nearly a minute of explicit sex scenes, it was dropped back down to its mainstream R-rating. If you want to see the film in its entirety, look for the director's cut.

Secretary

What it's About: Meet Lee, a subdued young woman who has just gotten out of a mental hospital for her masochistic habits and returned home to Florida. She takes a job as a secretary at Edward Grey's law firm. Edward has a unique management style. Typos and other office errors call for a firm spanking, where Lee must place both hands on the desk while he hits her lightly until her skin is reddened. While this may sound borderline abusive (not to mention violating all sorts of sexual harassment laws), it's presented in a deliciously fun and light-hearted way as Lee begins to crave her boss' hard hand of discipline. As she begins to purposely mess up just to receive more spankings, sexual fantasies ensue.

Why it's Hot: This quirky play on the secretary-boss stereotype takes the notion of dominance and submission role playing to the extreme. While we tend to stray from an attitude of subservience in our everyday lives, this film has fun with the concept in a purely sexual way. Throughout most of the film, Edward and Lee don't actually have sex, but instead fantasies build the anticipation. It doesn't hurt that Edward is played by James Spader, already known for his TV role as a charming, quick-witted lawyer, and that Lee (Maggie Gyllenhaal) appears so sweet on the surface but is ready to do most anything - no matter how deranged - to get sexual release
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7 People You Should Never Sleep With

Romantic relationships are often filled with many exciting twists and turns. But just because you feel that special tingle for someone doesn't mean you're a good match. There are boundaries that always need to be considered, even if you honestly think you've met the love of your life.

So before you schedule any candlelit dinners, take a look at this list of seven people who you should steer clear of romantically at all costs.

Your Doctor

Doctors have a special role in our society. They're regarded as heroes in many senses and with good reason. Whether your physician detects a life-threatening illness or gives you psychological feedback that improves your overall outlook, it's natural to look up to any doctor who has helped you.

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However, your gratitude should be expressed by paying the bill on time, not sharing your body in an intimate way. Sadly, some doctors take advantage of their patients' vulnerability and extreme gratitude by crossing the line into the physical realm. And because there is an unspoken hierarchy of power in this kind of sexual relationship, the patient can feel no choice in the matter.


In fact, psychiatrists and psychologists in particular are able to exploit this reality more than any other type of physician because of the emotional weakness of their patients.

But you don't have to be a victim. If you make your boundaries clear, you can prevent yourself form being manipulated into any kind of sexual relationship with a doctor. It's best to keep this acquaintance on a professional level where it belongs.

Your Lawyer

Like all interactions with your doctor, the relationship you share with your lawyer should be just as straightforward for many of the same reasons. But there is an added incentive for not stepping into any sexual escapades with your attorney. Such an action could negatively affect the ability to advise you as objectively as possible.

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The Code of Ethics exists because of this very conflict. Any appearance of impropriety could also cause problems between a lawyer and his or her firm, which can only make things so much worse for everyone involved.


Furthermore, the stress of a court case may cause you to feel more susceptible to romance, especially if you look at your lawyer as your true protector. The intensity and the anxiety of any kind of legal matter can stir up sexual feelings that will just get in the way of resolving the issues at hand.

So to eliminate any needless complications, think of your lawyer as a hired specialist, not a potential bedmate.

Your Boss

Sleeping with your boss is never a good idea. Once again, the inequality of power in this relationship is a major reason to avoid any sexual entanglement. You will never be a peer or a partner with someone who has such undue influence over your career.

Even more importantly, by allowing yourself to enter into a sexual relationship with your boss, you could be jeopardizing your entire professional future.

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Every relationship has its issues. But romantic problems with a boss who controls every facet of your job may lead to disaster. Performing your professional duties can't help but suffer under these circumstances. You also may be opening yourself up to a company investigation of sexual harassment, which can serve to damage your reputation in the long run.


While it may be tempting to jump into bed with the boss, don't take this leap. It could cost you a career you've worked hard to attain.

Your Best Friend

Close friendships are important connections in life. Many of them take years to build, developing trust and a special understanding of the other person that can only happen over time.

When best friends move from a platonic bond to something sexual, both people are taking a big risk. The entire dynamic of the friendship instantly changes, never to return to its original state. With sex comes different emotions and a new level of attachment that could ruin what once was the perfect friendship.

Although there are cases where best friends have evolved into a successful couple, that isn't the norm. So before you share your feelings with a pal of several years, make sure you understand that you could be sacrificing a longtime friendship for a romp in the hay.

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Your Employee

Just like sleeping with your boss is a bad idea, so is a romantic encounter with an employee. The same principles are in play. This time, however, you're the one in the power seat. But the results may turn out exactly the same.


Not only do you risk a sexual harassment lawsuit, but your entire reputation may be scarred for years to come. Work duties, which are the reason you're at the office in the first place, may fall by the wayside, too.

Keep your professional contacts on a professional basis, even if you're tempted by a cutie who comes your way. Sex with an underling is not worth the potential sacrifices you might have to make in the long run.

Your Co-Worker

Although there may not be a power dynamic in sleeping with a co-worker, other problems could be just as damaging. For one thing, there are boundary issues. It's harder to focus on getting your work done, if your significant other is always in the office with you. And if your relationship is going through some rocky times, good luck separating the personal and the professional aspects of your interaction.

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You may also feel claustrophobic because whether you're at home or at work, you're always together. That means you have no time to breathe. Over time, you might also feel that work defines the relationship you share, making it more difficult to grow as a couple.


It's natural to find co-workers attractive, especially if you spend many hours together. But think about how your work atmosphere could change for the worse, if you move this relationship into the bedroom.

Your Relative

Sex with a relative is always taboo unless the particular family member is a million times removed from your bloodline. But even then, it's a bit on the iffy side. There's the chance that any children that come of this union could face life with some kind of deformity. You also might encounter tension with other relatives because of your sexual relationship.

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For many reasons, it's best to keep your familial relations on a platonic level. There are plenty of appealing people who don't share your DNA to choose from.


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Revealed! 4 Secrets to Great Sex

Great passionate sex is the best! It helps your relationship last and get better and better over time. Sex releases endorphins, which elevate mood and lower stress and pain levels. After having sex, each partner associates feeling good with the other. Testosterone, the sexual hormone engine for both men and women, also generates feelings of connection. And finally, having sex drives up levels of oxytocin (the cuddle, tend & befriend hormone), which explains why for many men, (and women) having sex is usually synonymous with feeling intimate and close. So how do you create great sex? Read on for some top sex secrets!{relatedarticles}

Sex Secret #1- Novelty

Dopamine is one of the infatuation brain chemicals that gives us that awesome over-the-moon feeling. It is produced when we first fall in love and then through new and novel activities keep dopamine infatuation going. Well, nothing keeps the dopamine going more than novelty in bed. So sex secret #1 is: vary the places you make love, vary the way you set the stage through candlelight, a bubble bath, feathers, sex toys, whipped cream, or new kinds of lingerie and sexy outfits.

Vary your foreplay and try different sexual positions. You might end up laughing yourselves silly as you experiment. Neither my husband nor I is a gymnast, so some of the Kama Sutra is a laugh riot for us. The most important sex secret is: Take it all as fun and games. In the end, make sure that both of you are fully satisfied no matter whether that's achieved orally, manually, or through intercourse.


Sex is a wonderful gift to be enjoyed and shared by both of you. Good, frequent sex promotes your own physical and mental health, that of your partner, and the vitality of the relationship. Among other things, it is associated with a reduced incidence of breast cancer in women who have never had a child, more restful sleep, greater pain relief, elevation of mood, looking younger, overall fitness, longevity, and happiness!

Sex Secret #2 - Sexual Trance

Sexual trance involves an inward focus where each partner focuses on his or her own pleasure and sensations and creates a fulfilling sexual release. In win- win sex, each of you is pleasured and finds a strong release in orgasm. Learn by experimenting so that you know what works for your partner and what works for you. This is an important sex secret.{relatedarticles}

Sex Secret #3 -----Learn What Works for Your Partner

In order to learn what works for your partner, try touching, massaging, licking, or stimulating all the different parts of the body. Observe and ask questions about what feels good. Try different sexual acts, variations of intercourse positions and oral sex.


Sex Secret #4 -----Know What Works for You

Ultimately you are responsible for knowing your body and creating the conditions for your own sexual pleasure. You can work on this by using what sex therapists call sensate focus. This simple but effective sex secret technique requires only that you be in an undisturbed place where you playfully touch and stimulate different parts of your body and learn about what sensations feel good to you. This is especially important for women.{relatedarticles}

My sex advice is, the more you know about your own body, the better your lover will be able to please you. Guide him or her by saying positive things like, "I love it when you stroke my breast gently." Or "I would love you to use your magic mouth on my tummy and work your way down." This is a critical sex secret.

You can learn much more about sex secrets and creating passionate lasting love in my relationship advice book, "Sealing the Deal: The Love Mentor's Guide to Lasting Love." So pick up a copy. Everyone can use a little sex advice to spice up their lives!


Diana Kirschner, Ph.D. has been a frequent guest psychologist on The Today Show & authored the highly acclaimed relationship advice book, Sealing the Deal: The Love Mentor's Guide to Lasting Love as well as the best-selling dating advice book, Love in 90 Days. Dr. Diana's revolutionary work is the basis of her PBS Special on love. Connect with Dr. Diana through her FREE Relationship Tips and Dating Advice Newsletter.

 


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