Today's Love Tip
When you're thinking about celebrating an upcoming wedding with the bride-to-be, a bachelorette party comes to mind, complete with strippers, penis-shaped lollipops, suggestively named shots, and lots and lots of drinking. Right? Well, it... Read More
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Revealed! 4 Secrets to Great Sex

Great passionate sex is the best! It helps your relationship last and get better and better over time. Sex releases endorphins, which elevate mood and lower stress and pain levels. After having sex, each partner associates feeling good with the other. Testosterone, the sexual hormone engine for both men and women, also generates feelings of connection. And finally, having sex drives up levels of oxytocin (the cuddle, tend & befriend hormone), which explains why for many men, (and women) having sex is usually synonymous with feeling intimate and close. So how do you create great sex? Read on for some top sex secrets!{relatedarticles}

Sex Secret #1- Novelty

Dopamine is one of the infatuation brain chemicals that gives us that awesome over-the-moon feeling. It is produced when we first fall in love and then through new and novel activities keep dopamine infatuation going. Well, nothing keeps the dopamine going more than novelty in bed. So sex secret #1 is: vary the places you make love, vary the way you set the stage through candlelight, a bubble bath, feathers, sex toys, whipped cream, or new kinds of lingerie and sexy outfits.

Vary your foreplay and try different sexual positions. You might end up laughing yourselves silly as you experiment. Neither my husband nor I is a gymnast, so some of the Kama Sutra is a laugh riot for us. The most important sex secret is: Take it all as fun and games. In the end, make sure that both of you are fully satisfied no matter whether that's achieved orally, manually, or through intercourse.


Sex is a wonderful gift to be enjoyed and shared by both of you. Good, frequent sex promotes your own physical and mental health, that of your partner, and the vitality of the relationship. Among other things, it is associated with a reduced incidence of breast cancer in women who have never had a child, more restful sleep, greater pain relief, elevation of mood, looking younger, overall fitness, longevity, and happiness!

Sex Secret #2 - Sexual Trance

Sexual trance involves an inward focus where each partner focuses on his or her own pleasure and sensations and creates a fulfilling sexual release. In win- win sex, each of you is pleasured and finds a strong release in orgasm. Learn by experimenting so that you know what works for your partner and what works for you. This is an important sex secret.{relatedarticles}

Sex Secret #3 -----Learn What Works for Your Partner

In order to learn what works for your partner, try touching, massaging, licking, or stimulating all the different parts of the body. Observe and ask questions about what feels good. Try different sexual acts, variations of intercourse positions and oral sex.


Sex Secret #4 -----Know What Works for You

Ultimately you are responsible for knowing your body and creating the conditions for your own sexual pleasure. You can work on this by using what sex therapists call sensate focus. This simple but effective sex secret technique requires only that you be in an undisturbed place where you playfully touch and stimulate different parts of your body and learn about what sensations feel good to you. This is especially important for women.{relatedarticles}

My sex advice is, the more you know about your own body, the better your lover will be able to please you. Guide him or her by saying positive things like, "I love it when you stroke my breast gently." Or "I would love you to use your magic mouth on my tummy and work your way down." This is a critical sex secret.

You can learn much more about sex secrets and creating passionate lasting love in my relationship advice book, "Sealing the Deal: The Love Mentor's Guide to Lasting Love." So pick up a copy. Everyone can use a little sex advice to spice up their lives!


Diana Kirschner, Ph.D. has been a frequent guest psychologist on The Today Show & authored the highly acclaimed relationship advice book, Sealing the Deal: The Love Mentor's Guide to Lasting Love as well as the best-selling dating advice book, Love in 90 Days. Dr. Diana's revolutionary work is the basis of her PBS Special on love. Connect with Dr. Diana through her FREE Relationship Tips and Dating Advice Newsletter.

 


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Tips for Keeping the Conversation Alive

Are you jealous of the born conversationalist? The person who can easily strike up a dialogue with strangers and make small talk with anyone in the room? Do you want to know their secrets for keeping a conversation alive? Here we have assembled some effective openers and fun fillers to help get your tongue untied and your brain working again after it has gone blank. Say goodbye to those awkward silences.

Ask Lots of Questions

It is hard to keep a conversation alive when you don't know anything about the other person-his interests, hobbies, political views, and values. When meeting someone for the first time, play the game of 20 questions to learn as much about the person as possible.

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Your goal is to ask enough questions to get a random hit and find common ground where the two of you can meet to enjoy a lengthy chat. A good set of initial and/or get-to-know-you questions include the basics:

  • Where are you from?
  • What school did you go to?
  • What's your favorite restaurant?
  • Do you have any pets?
  • What do you like to do on weekends?

Gossip

Two-thirds of all human conversation is gossip, so you better put it in your repertoire of conversation techniques. If you share mutual friends, acquaintances or colleagues, they can be your springboard to keeping the conservation alive.

Everyone enjoys gossiping, although few people admit to it because it sounds petty or trivial. Men seem to prefer to call it "keeping in touch," which is essentially a euphemism for gossip. To be an effective gossiper, remember to vary your voice (try lowering or elevating it for effect) and provide plenty of rich juicy detail.

Ask for Advice

Guys love to give advice, especially about cars and gadgets. To select a topic for advice, think about what is going on in your life. Are you in the market for a new car? Do you need to do some repair work around the house? Are you having trouble finding a certain app for your iPhone?

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As long as you are a good listener and attentive, your conversation partner will enjoy sharing his expert advice or at least his two cents. If you are lucky, you might even find an enthusiastic volunteer who will offer to help you in your endeavor.


Share an Experience (especially if it's funny)

Remember that a good conservation should have a rhythm to it. When one person dominates the discussion and the other is doing all the listening, you don't have a conversation-you have a lecture. Through sharing personal experiences, we crack open our outer shell so the other person can get to know "the zany and loveable nut inside."

Good stories become great stories once you tell them over and over again, embellishing them a little each time. Practicing your story a couple of times can help calm the butterflies in your stomach.

Give a Compliment

If the conversation looks like it is faltering, try giving a compliment. Even if the conservation ends shortly thereafter, at least you ended it on a high note. Complimenting a person on what he is wearing is always a good choice and remember to follow-up by asking a question about where they shop.

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Blurt Out Your Next Thought

If all else fails, try to blurt out the first thing that enters your head. Blurting is a conservation technique to break the awkward silence. If you can tie your stream of consciousness to something going on in your surroundings, that is even better.


Great Topics for Conversations (especially with men)

Food/Restaurants

Talking about food-shopping for it, preparing it, and eating it-allows the conversation to bounce back and forth. In discussing your favorite restaurant remember to provide delicious detail about what you love about it-the atmosphere, the appetizers, the desserts, the price, and the service.

As a follow-up, suggest getting a group together to go out. Planning an outing is another way to keep the conversation alive and kicking.

Movies

There is a countless number of movies and luckily a movie critic in every room. Everyone has a favorite movie or one that is on their radar to see soon. Enjoying a good movie and being able to talk about a movie are two different things.

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To keep a movie discussion going, you need to know how to share your impressions. The easiest way is to read reviews from movie critics. Don't substitute their reviews for you own, but jot down some phrases that they use so your next movie review will be a full-feature instead of a preview.


Homes

Home repairs are the bane of every homeowner's existence but great sources of conversation. Are you looking to spruce up your home and need some advice? Homeownership and rentals are a great foundation upon which to build a conversation. Share the good and bad of your home improvement projects or fiascos and don't forget to ask for advice and recommendations for contractors.

Pets

People love to talk about their pets, which often lead to long and personal conversations. Sharing stories about our pets shows our caring nature and as a bonus can be highly amusing. When a conversation begins to stall, reach for your phone or camera and bring up pictures of your adorable pet acting goofy to share.

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Cars

Besides our home, we practically live in our cars. If you are in the market to buy or lease a new car, ask for some advice and then for fun talk about your dream car. If you want to be on the other side of the conversation, attend a few auto shows and read car reviews online, so you can share your knowledge on the coolest and latest features and specs.

Remember that a good conversation is like a good ping-pong match, where the players keep the ball in continuous play. If your partner sends you a lob slowing down the conversation, pick it back up by using one of the conversation techniques previously outlined. If your partner smashes the ping-pong and it looks as if the conversation is over, ask him whether he has ever played ping-pong.

 


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Affair Surviving - 3 Reasons Why Asking Your Husband To Go To Counseling Is A Big Mistake

By Denise A. Dilmore

If you have recently found out about your husband's affair, you know just how devastating affair surviving really is. You may want to ask your husband to attend counselling sessions as you feel they are needed to save your marriage. Think again! Asking your husband to go to counselling is a big mistake.

Although counselling can be a perfect solution for couples who have both agreed to participate, if your husband feels pushed or forced into it, the results will not be favourable. {relatedarticles}

Over 50% of couples and individuals who seek marriage counselling after an affair reported the counselling seldom worked. If both couples were not 100% committed to the affair surviving help, the cheating spouse entered counselling guarded and with little intent to interact or disclose any deep feelings.

The cheating spouse then often sabotaged the sessions and the end result was the counselling pushed them away rather than saved the marriage.


3 Reasons Why Asking Your Husband To Go To Counselling Is A Big Mistake

Reason #1.

Your husband may feel he is being forced or manipulated into a solution. If your husband is not 100% committed to rebuilding your marriage and surviving the affair, do not try to convince him to attend marriage counselling sessions.{relatedarticles}

Reason #2.

Your husband may feel you are desperate. You are prepared to do whatever it takes to keep him in the marriage. Unfortunately, human nature leans towards wanting what you can't have. If you are pushing for a solution to remain in his life and come across like you can't live without him, this will not attract him but may push him away.

Reason #3

Your husband may feel you want to fix him. Although I'm sure your husband knows he is in the wrong for having an affair, there is still a sense of justification. In his mind his needs were not being met and therefore he looked outside the marriage to fulfill his needs. If he feels you are trying to fix or change him, resentment and distance can develop.


To encourage your husband to join you in affair surviving strategies, whether it be marriage counselling, books or online resources, take control of yourself first. Focus on your own self-care and be willing to take a non-reactive stand and move on with your life. Explain to him that you are getting counselling/advice to change your life. That the marriage hasn't been what it should be for some time and you need to make positive changes within your life. With or without him.

Focusing on your own affair surviving strategies and self-care is the key to engaging your husband to participate whole heartedly in rebuilding your marriage. Once you are both committed to saving your relationship, it's just a matter of time before your marriage will be loving and stronger than ever before.{relatedarticles}

About The Author

Denise A. Dilmore is the editor of www.howtosurviveanaffair.ca an article based website exploring the healing process of "AFFAIR SURVIVING".

 

If you have participated in marriage counselling sessions and they have not worked, or if counselling sessions are beyond your budget and you are seeking a way to engage your husband in rebuilding your marriage, get our free 7-part program. Visit www.marriage-after-infidelity.info for instant access to your Free Program.



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