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Let's face it: Getting busy is lots of fun for most people, but many people make mistakes and take risks that they may not have considered before taking their partners to bed. Here, we'll reveal five of the most dangerous sex mistakes you... Read More
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8 Sex Toys Every Woman Should Own

Sex can be exciting with your new guy for a while, but then it starts to get boring. Same position, same location, same time. What can you do to spice things up? Add some sex toys to the mix. Sure, the thought of sex toys can make even the naughtiest girl blush, but they can help you achieve pleasure like you've never felt before.

If you're looking to improve your sex life and give it that boost it needs, try out these 8 sex toys that every woman should own.

The Vibrator

The most common sex toy, the vibrator, is one that every women wants in her pleasure chest. Sure, it's basic, but it's a good toy to start out with, especially if you're experimenting with sex toys for the first time. There are many types of vibrators, and they come in many sizes. When choosing a product, look for one that is fairly quiet and effective in stimulating the clitoris area.

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You should also look at features such as the ability to adjust the intensity and speed. Many women hop all over The Rabbit vibrator because it creates sensation in the vagina as well as the clitoris. You can even buy a waterproof Rabbit, so it can be used anywhere you feel the urge.


The Couple's Vibrator

A couples' vibrator is a good choice if you have trouble experiencing orgasm during intercourse. A couple's vibrator is smaller than a regular vibrator and allows you just enough extra penetration to get the job done, so to speak. Its smaller size doesn't interfere with your partner's rhythm, and its vibrations may even enhance your partner's experience, guaranteeing a good time for both of you.

The G-Spot Wand

A G-spot wand is essential if you are looking for something like a vibrator but without the vibrating. A G-spot wand is made of heavy-duty stainless steel (used for hip replacements) and is curved for your added pleasure. It's perfect if you enjoy ample penetration. The NJOY Pure wand comes highly recommended on many websites. According to many users, the name says it all.

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The Silver Bullet

If you are more into clitoral stimulation, a silver bullet may be just what you need. A silver bullet is an egg-shaped metal device that is basic and cheap but definitely hits the spot. You use it directly on your clitoris and can adjust the pressure by using the attached remote. Definitely a hands-down favorite for many women!


The Cock Ring

How about a toy for your man? Aptly called the Big O Vibrating Ring, this device can help both of you experience greater sexual pleasure. Placed on the base of the man's penis before it becomes erect, a cock ring allows blood to flow into the penis but not outward.

This vibrating ring helps the penis sustain a harder erection and stimulates the clitoris during intercourse. Most are made of rubber or steel. Keep in mind that a cock ring must be sized carefully, or they can result in a too-erect penis, which can be painful and embarrassing, requiring a trip to the doctor. However, for those who use this toy properly, it is a fun way to enhance any sexual relationship.

Anal Beads

For those looking to experiment with anal sex, start with anal beads. Made of silicone, the beads come in various sizes, so beginners as well as pros can experiment with them. Just add some lubrication, and they can be used for both men and women.

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Lubricants

A little lubrication can definitely go a long way. Whether you're feeling dry as the desert down there or looking to experiment with anal sex, a lubricant is effective in increasing pleasure. Lubricant is a jelly used to replace or supplement a woman's vaginal lubrication.

In the past, oil-based lubricants were in demand. However, they created bacteria inside a woman's vagina. They also destroyed latex, making them impossible to use with condoms. Therefore, it is recommended to use water-based lubricants only. When used inside a condom, lubricants can make sensations even stronger for the man.


Interesting note: although most people use regular KY Jelly for sexual intercourse, KY Jelly is actually made for the medical environment and is not long-lasting. Therefore, you should choose another brand, one made specifically for sex, such as Astroglide or Aqualube.

The Blindfold

How about using something in the bedroom that's as simple and easily available as a blindfold? Probably not the kinkiest type of sex toy available, but a blindfold creates an element of surprise, which can be incredibly sexy. Imagine the excitement you will feel by not being able to see what your partner will do next. Blindfolds, especially silk ones, can make bedtime much more exciting and allow your imagination to run wild.

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One of the hurdles you may face when using sex toys is that your partner may disapprove of them. He may feel embarrassed or upset that he cannot satisfy you fully. He may view sex toys as a replacement for him. Therefore, it's important to let him know the benefits of you using sex toys. By using them, you are finding out what turns you on, where you like being touched and the intensity at which you enjoy it.

Sex toys can help you become more familiar with your body. If you can't pleasure yourself, then how can you expect your man to? You need to convince your guy that using sex toys will make your sex life better in the long run. They can spark your imagination and make sex much more fun and exciting every time.


Let's face it; achieving an orgasm makes a woman feel sexier, happier and more feminine. And what could be wrong with that? When you learn how to pleasure yourself, you're helping your partner in the process.

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You can show him where to touch you. It's OK to use objects other than your body parts to give you pleasure, so don't feel embarrassed or ashamed about using sex toys. Your sex life is private, and nobody needs to know what you do behind closed doors, except for you and your significat other.


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Love Him from a Long Distance: 5 Secrets

Some people may say that it is impossible to keep the fires burning on a long-distance relationship. Others reply that simply isn't true because absence makes the heart grow fonder. So who is right? The survivability of your long-distance romance will depend on the type of relationship you have built.

New couples often feel the bumps in the road separating them more intensely, while established couples can navigate the potholes better and keep their romance on cruise control.{relatedarticles}

Although long-distance romances present unique challenges, they are not predetermined to fail just because the fire isn't stoked every day. However, until the great divide between you and your significant other ends, here are 5 secrets for managing your long-distance relationship that will strengthen the bridge between you and your sweetheart.

 

Secret One: Use Technology to the Fullest

Did you know that putting the "I" into your relationship -- whether it be an iPhone, iPad or iPod Touch -- just might help keep the "we" part of the relationship strong and healthy. Regardless of what the love optimists say, the mind has this awful trick of blurring images that aren't in focus.


He might not forget your face, but over time, some of your lovely and wonderful features won't be as sharp as they were when you were together. If your sweet voice isn't lingering in his ears enough, then it is time to ramp up your social media skills. Here are a few suggestions for managing your long-distance relationship with the latest technology.

 

  • Look for plans, services or apps that offer unlimited sharing features. A free app called Pair was recently launched for the iPhone that allows couples to share exclusively videos and photos, text, and even sketch together for free.
  • Buy a webcam. While nothing replaces in-person visits, videoconferencing is honestly the next best thing to being there. If your computer does not have a built-in webcam, get an external one for around $30 for those late-night, intimate chats.
  • Sign up for a video chat service. In addition to the webcam, you will need an account with Facetime, Skype, Gmail, iChat, AIM, or another service. Placing and receiving video chats is simple and costs nothing or very little. As long as your loved one has an account on the same network, you can talk face to face for as long as you want.{relatedarticles}

 

Secret Two: Prepare a Care Package

Care packages are not just for college students or overseas servicemen anymore. Next to keeping your face in the picture and your seductive voice in his ears, your next move is to fill the void of some of the other senses that your boyfriend is missing that remind him of you. A care package is a perfect way to stimulate these sensations from afar.


 

If you love to cook -- and your beau loves to eat your cooking -- whip up a batch of his favorite cookies or brownies. If your fellow is a meat-and-potatoes kind of guy, you can still send him his favorites packed in dry ice. When the goodies arrive, all your honey has to do is pop them in the oven or microwave and bon appétit -- it is just like you are standing in his kitchen. Food is a perfect care package because it will satisfy those primal needs.

But don't just limit your care package to food. Send him a new playlist of his favorite songs and be sure to slip in "your song" as a surprise. Another idea is to appeal to his sense of smell by sending him a pillowcase with your intoxicating scent on it. To get the maximum effect, sleep on the pillow after washing your hair or applying your favorite perfume to soak up your effervescence. The trick is to surround your guy with scents that will remind him of you and your great times together.{relatedarticles}

 

Secret Three: Plan a Visit

 

You can get a lot of mileage from a planned visit before, during and after your trip. First, comes the building of excitement of planning your trip and what you will be doing once you arrive. Next, of course, comes the actual excitement while you are there. Then finally, the afterglow once you are back home reminiscing about how much fun you had and how you cannot wait until the next time.

 

Secret Four: Keep Yourself Busy

 

The greatest gift you can give your long-distance lover is to keep yourself busy. While reminiscing about old times is fine for awhile, you will need to talk about something new to keep your romance fresh. If you and sweetheart have mutual friends, go and hang out with them so you keep your fellow caught up on all the neighborhood gossip. Remember, you had a life before you met him, which made you the interesting and attractive person he fell in love with. Go out and rediscover yourself with the extra time on your hands.


 

 

Secret Five: Make Him Feel Touched

 

You now have secrets for satisfying 4 of his 5 sensations: sight, sound, smell and taste. But how do you satisfy the sensation of touch from long distance? When people talk about "touch," they are not just talking about the physical sense of touch.

The other sense is when someone feels "touched" and experiences that inner warmth that comes from knowing one is loved and cherished. You can make your boyfriend feel touched in many ways, but start by telling how much you care about him and miss him. No fellow ever gets tired of hearing about how important he is to you.{relatedarticles}

While the above secrets can be quite effective, remember that they are still only substitutes for the real thing. Be prepared for stormy weather caused by the strain of being apart. Relationships are very unpredictable.

One moment you can be basking in the sun and warmth of virtual intimacy, and the next moment feel that you are separated by a void as big as the ocean. Just remember to keep working at it until you unlock his heart with the right combination of secrets for making your long distance relationship work.


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How to Bypass the Road to Divorce

Are you and your partner worried about money in these uncertain times? During any economic crisis, couples have to face tough financial decisions. This can lead to an increase in stress and aggravate problems that already exist in your marriage.

As you look back to when you first met, what attracted you to your partner - fierce independence, strong character, a decisive nature? Now, these very same qualities may be getting in the way of getting along. If you want to come to terms with your negative feelings, notice what has changed in your marriage.

And try to see your own part in what's going on. If there's a glimmer of hope and you want to stay together, accept the challenge of turning it around. Some of these ideas can help you get started: {relatedarticles}

1. Identify your emotions. As a first step, write down the feelings that now regularly surface. And record what's happening between you and your partner when you are sad, scared, overwhelmed, embarrassed or frustrated.

Chances are you have emotions ranging from disappointment to anger, and these may be constantly changing. Don't worry - this is normal. Understanding what you feel, and why, can be the first step toward improving your situation.


2. Stop focusing on the past. Identify the hot button issues that are standing in your way and make efforts to resolve them. If you initiate changes, that can be an encouraging sign to your partner. And the sooner you let go of the past, the quicker you can move forward to improve the goodwill in your relationship. It may not be easy to forgive, but it is a gift you can give to your partner and yourself.

3. Limit your arguments. If the situation between the two of you is tense, small annoyances can seem worse than before. When you argue, allowing bad feelings to fester only makes it harder. Don't turn your quarrel into something more or attach your reactions to another issue.

Agree that you will together explore the problems. And spend time learning about conflict resolution, direct communication and active listening skills. There's information available through relationship workshops, the Internet and the self help section in bookstores.{relatedarticles}

4. Begin a process of serious talking. Can't do it alone? If you really want to work out your differences, consider consulting with a marital therapist or joining a couples' support group. When you understand more about the other's needs and capabilities, you'll be clearer about compromises you have to make.

Then it will be up to both of you to decide whether you're willing to do the hard work. That may include efforts to change your current expectations, redefine what marriage means to you and create new goals for the relationship.


5. Support each other. Instead of focusing on the negatives or going your separate ways, spend time discussing what you want from one other. Think about what would demonstrate true emotional commitment to you. Prove that you are on each other's side by deciding to change your attitude and behavior.

in your marriage's emotional bank account. Create excitement, pleasure and fun together - then take advantage of the dividends.{relatedarticles}

You and your partner are individuals who each have a mind of your own. What you want may have changed since you first tied the knot. And the present economic meltdown probably adds to the pressures in your relationship. But that doesn't mean you can't make shifts that will relieve some of the stress. And you don't have to accept the possibility of divorce. By taking the first steps, you can help strengthen your partner's trust in you - and the future of your marriage.

© Her Mentor Center, 2011
About The Author

Phyllis Goldberg, Ph.D. is a family relationship expert. Whether you're coping with stress, acting out teens, aging parents, boomerang kids or difficult daughters-in-law, I have solutions. Visit our website, http://www.HerMentorCenter.com to discover practical tips for dealing with parents growing older & children growing up and to learn about our ebook, "Taking Control of Stress in a Financial Storm." Log on to our blog, http://www.NourishingRelationships.blogspot.com and sign up for our free newsletter, Stepping Stones, and complimentary ebook, "Courage and Lessons Learned."


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