Love is blind, which could explain why so many women settle for jerks. Jerks with a capital J, the kind of guys your mom and dad warned you about. That’s right. We said it. Consider this your official jerk alert. 

Not sure your man if your man fits the bill? Well, we have recruited Dr. Diana Kirshner, psychologist and bestselling author of Love in 90 Days, to identify all kinds of jerks who will make your love life hell. If anybody knows the formula for a lasting relationship, it’s Dr. Kirshner. The feisty love guru created the 90-Day Love Challenge on the Fox Morning Show and has appeared on Oprah, Good Morning America, Nightline and Access Hollywood to share her valuable insight. In her latest offering, Find Your Soulmate Online in 6 Simple Steps, Dr. Kirshner sets straight those women who have been looking for love in all the wrong places. 

But before you send out an SOS for a good man, it’s essential to acknowledge what you are NOT looking for – and that’s another dead-end relationship with a guy who’s no good. Dr. Kirshner refers to these guys as DUDs – definitely unworkable dudes. 

In this MyDailyMoment.com exclusive, the renowned relationship expert gets down to the nitty gritty and identifies the persona non grata in your love life. 

Dr. Kirshner tells MyDailyMoment: “The DUD is a guy a guy who ultimately has too many limitations on who he is as a person and how he fits with you, such that he cannot fulfill your needs for a lasting, passionate love relationship. He may be cold or disinterested, argumentative, mean or controlling. He may lie, cheat and/or disappear altogether. 

Although avoiding these types might seem like a no-brainer, Dr. Kirshner says that far too many women are doomed to DUDs because they feel as if they can’t do any better. “Women think that they either have to take crumbs or settle for nothing and no relationship,” she says.

Here are five DUDS you definitely don’t want to date: 

1. The Control Freak – From what you wear to what you eat, he has a say in everything you do. The control freak is definitely one to be wary of. Even though you may not ask for it, a controlling partner will give you more than his two cents. He will do everything in his power to ensure you follow his directives – and it’s that sense of power that will be a pervading force in your relationship. 

In many unions, women assume a more submissive role and allow their partners to control aspects of their relationships, including finances, intimacy, social lives and more. While a perfect relationship (or as close as you can get to this mythical creature) would require equal, that often isn’t a reality. A controlling nature also can be a symptom of a bigger issue – physical and verbal abuse. Although not all controlling individuals resort to abuse, it can definitely be a stepping stone for bigger and badder things.

Consider this — there are those women who actually find abuse acceptable. A study conducted by St. Michael’s Hospital in Toronto and Adelphi University in Garden City studied 661 women living in urban areas. They found that 43 percent of the women surveyed said their significant others had abused them in the past year. What was most frightening about the findings were that of those abused women, 54 percent described their partners as being very reliable and 21 percent said their abusers/partners had positive traits – in spite of the abuse. 

2. The Cheapskate – Money changes everything, especially when he chooses not to spend it. We’re not saying he needs to be a sugar daddy by any means. But like Billie Jean said, “Fair is fair.” If your relationship is built on an understanding of going Dutch, that is one thing.

But if it feels like you’re constantly doing things on your dime, this could be a major red flag. It could be a sign he doesn’t think you’re worth the price of admission. While he can treat you like a queen without spending a fortune, taking you to a nice dinner or buying you the occasional gift is one way a guy shows that he is into you. 

Many men will throw their hands up and complain that expecting a guy to pay a gal’s way is a “dark age” mentality. But chivalry is still chivalry, even if it’s near death. And there are plenty of people who still believe it’s the guy who should pick up the tab, especially in the early stages of the relationship. If you find yourself constantly reaching into your wallet or paying his way most of the time, strap yourself in for an expensive ride. It’s likely he won’t change his cheap ways once the precedent has been set. 

3. The Narcissist – Enough about me, let’s talk about me! Does this sentiment sound far too familiar? Chances are, you will know plenty about the narcissist because he will spend all of his free time – and yours – talking about himself.

Here’s a guy who is always looking out for number one. No matter the situation, he always brings it back to himself. Think about this – does he ever ask you about yourself? Does he show an interest in you and the things you do? Or is it all about him 24/7/365? More than likely, you will always come in second to the narcissist. You will probably spend a great deal of time listening to him boast about his virtues – from good looks to great pay. 

While it may sound like a major turn-off, a German study actually found that women are attracted to men with high levels of narcissism. Yep, girls love guys who love themselves. Research indicates that those guys who have a high self-opinion, along with a healthy dose of entitlement, are more likely to get the girl. 

Michael Dufner, lead researcher of the study, explained, “Narcissism is linked to mate appeal in a real-life situation. We focused on narcissism as a personality trait, not the personality disorder. This means that everybody has a certain narcissism level — for some it is higher, for others, lower.” 

Stick with a narcissist and prepare to come in last constantly. It always has been – and always will be – all about him.

4. The Ogler – Nothing feeds insecurity like the wandering eye. We are talking about those guys who are constantly rubbernecking every time an attractive member of the opposite sex walks by. For some guys, it doesn’t stop there. They actually engage other gals…all the while you are sitting right there. 

It’s the ultimate show of disrespect. When you’re in a relationship, a guy should make you feel like you’re not just the most important girl in the room, but the most important girl in the world. By openly engaging other women, it not only makes you feel as if you aren’t enough, but it also plays on your insecurities. Plus, you also start to wonder whether or not he is unfaithful. Based on what he does in front of your face, you are often left asking what he is doing behind your back. 

Also consider why a guy would do this right in front of you. Does he require the extra attention to feel good about himself? Does it boost his self-esteem? At the end of the day, his flirtation is likely a sign of bigger issues.

5. The Hater – There is no bigger jerk than the guy who constantly displays sexist, racist or homophobic behavior. You know the type. He’s the one who is always making slurs or cracking jokes about specific groups of people. His commentary is completely inappropriate and downright offensive. 

Maybe he is an equal-opportunity offender who believes that people from all other walks of life are beneath him. Whether his ideals were instilled in him from childhood or he has picked up his prejudiced principles along the way doesn’t matter – they are still his beliefs. It’s a mighty hard pill to swallow. 

You know the type. He’s the one who always makes slurs or cracks jokes about specific groups of people. The trouble with the hater is that for a while he might keep his true colors under wraps. Although he might not display his feelings initially, maybe his silence says it all. When other people make hateful comments, does he stay unusually quiet? That could indicate that he agrees with the remarks and be an indication of things to come. 

At the first sign of blatant discrimination, don’t walk – run — the other way. The last kind of jerk you want to contend with is narrow-minded ninny who makes it a habit to put down others.

6. The Boor – The saying “A person who is nice to you but is not nice to the waiter is not a nice person” has been slapped on posters and can be seen all over Pinterest. But as trite as it sounds, it’s true. When you see your guy act dismissive, abusive or disrespectful to someone who works in a customer service industry, such as waitstaff, cashiers or even telemarketers (though we get that it’s hard to be nice to those callers) it usually means that he feels “those people” are beneath him.Raytheon CEO Bill Swanson wrote a booklet called Swanson’s Unwritten Rules of Management, and in the booklet, he writes, “Watch out for people who have a situational value system, who can turn the charm on and off depending on the status of the person they are interacting with. Be especially wary of those who are rude to people perceived to be in subordinate roles.” Take notice when a guy completely blows up about minor infractions, like cold food or a spilled drink, that a server easily can fix. A nice guy will help the server feel at ease and will compensate him or her for a job well done, not berate him or her for not meeting his unreasonable standards. 

That hypercritical attitude can leak into his relationships with others, including you. It may result in you feeling like you’re on pins and needles, waiting for him to make much ado about nothing. Perhaps he was not raised with good manners – if you decide to have a child with him, do you think he’ll teach your child any different? Perhaps he feels like he’s not in control of his own life, and he must compensate by controlling others and being disrespectful. Regardless, the feelings that lead a person to treat those in service roles badly are not feelings for which you want to be on the receiving end.

The good news is that if you make a meal one of your first dates, then it’s easy for you to weed out this jerk quickly. 

Unfortunately, some gals don’t realize that they’ve fallen for a DUD until it’s too late. While there are those who present their problems early on – with drug or alcohol issues – others disguise their drawbacks.Warning signs such as displaying narcissistic tendencies, claiming to be victimized by exes, or judging others are often ignored or overlooked. 

“Others, especially players, hide it all and come on strong and perfect to win you over. Then once they have you, the trouble starts,” Dr. Kirshner warns. 

The fear of being alone may motivate a woman to try and transform her “jerk.” Dr. Kirshner is adamant that a true jerk can’t be changed, at least not without an inclination toward personal growth. If he is open to therapy, like a 12-step program (in the case of addicts), there is hope. But if not, buyer beware.

“If there is an alcohol or drug problem with no recovery in process, chances are you will be very hurt by the guy. If there is lying or a history of cheating, ditto. It there is extreme narcissism or raging behavior, ditto.  

For other problems, like cheapness, if you see that the guy is working on himself, you may want to tolerate him.” 

Dr. Kirshner paints a pretty bleak picture for women who refuse to part ways with the louses in their lives. Heartbreak and disappointment will become the norm. The good news is that there are ways to break the cycle of boorish bad boys. For starters, date against type and give nice guys a chance. More than likely, you won’t find him glued to a barstool. 

To get a copy of Dr. Kirshner’s new book, click here.