Putting anger in its place isn’t always easy. We all deal with frustration in our lives – at work, home and in public. Whether it’s over small irritations like traffic jams or big life-changing situations like a divorce, the anger and stress we feel inside sometimes can bubble up and come spilling out at the worst moments. So how do you stop feeling like the Hulk and get back to being yourself? Check out these seven techniques to put the rage to rest.
Meditation – Sitting down and being still and quiet may be the last thing you want to do in a fit of rage, but doing so can have positive effects. Meditation helps calm the mind and body and can give you the clarity to see a stressful or angry situation in a better light. When you feel yourself about to freak out, spend anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour in a secluded, quiet space focusing on your breathing and positive thoughts.
Continue to do this every day to prevent future meltdowns and until your anger subsides. There are many books and videos that can guide you through how to get started meditating, and some yoga studios may even offer guided meditation courses for free.
Sleeping – Ever heard the expression “sleep on it and see how you feel”? Sleep helps to relax and restore your body and ease tension. You may also be more prone to act out in anger if you haven’t had a good night’s sleep. If possible, sneaking in a nap during the day if you’re feeling particularly overwhelmed, can be helpful.
If you find it hard to shut your mind off from your angry thoughts at night, try listening to an inspirational book on tape, soft music or taking a hot bath right before bedtime. Make sure you get at least six to eight hours of sleep in a quiet and darkened room. You may find that in the morning your feelings have changed or subsided.
Exercise – Even moderate exercise like walking or swimming has been shown to release chemicals into your bloodstream called endorphins that boost mood and energy. Activities like boxing or weightlifting can be good ways to release feelings of anger and tension. Getting your blood pumping for another reason than anger is the key to stress reduction.
Put on your favorite record and dance for an hour, or hop on the trampoline with your kids. It doesn’t matter which workout you choose. Not only is exercise a useful stress relief tactic, but it’s also good for your health and can encourage better sleep and a clearer mind.
Seek Professional Help – If your anger issues spill over into your work and personal life and affect them in a negative way, it may be time to work with a therapist or anger-management counselor to get past your issues and learn about appropriate coping techniques. If you’ve tried conquering feelings of anger on your own with no result, a professional is the right choice and should be contacted as soon as possible to prevent any dangerous or detrimental behavior. A quick Internet search should point you in the direction of a person in your area who can help.
Keep a Journal – Sometimes getting feelings out on paper can make you feel better about a bad situation. Keeping a journal nearby to jot down or even scrawl out angry thoughts when they occur instead of yelling them or bottling them up inside can be an effective way to release your anger. Some psychologists lead angry patients through an exercise where they write a scathing letter to the person they are angry with and then burn or destroy the letter without sending it. This lets you clear your head and heart of the intense emotions you feel without taking it out on someone else.
Get Distracted – Find something, anything, to concentrate on other than the person or situation that is causing you such strife. Volunteering with a local non-profit can take your thoughts off the anger and give you a feeling of accomplishment. Take a few bucks out of the rainy-day fund and buy a new dress or treat yourself to a fancy dinner. Plan a movie marathon with your best friend or finally paint that guest bedroom you’ve been neglecting. Set goals for yourself even if they seem small or unimportant. Focusing your time and energy on something positive that makes you feel good will help you forget about your outrage.
Be Logical – While we may feel clear-headed during an angry situation, we most likely are not. Think about the following questions and how they apply to your situation – Will this matter a year from now? What are the consequences if this situation goes unresolved? Have I ever done something like this? You may find that after considering the real impact of the situation and your reaction that effort and time spent outweighs the worth or consequences.
In addition to creating a better state of mental health, anger relief is beneficial to your physical health. Studies show that frequent feelings of high-level anger have been linked to heart disease, including elevated blood pressure, higher levels of glucose and fat in the bloodstream and even atherosclerosis. People who are angry also often tend to suffer from other chronic negative emotions and depression.
No matter what technique or combination of techniques you choose to help alleviate your anger, remember that anger is a normal feeling and part of life. It’s OK and even healthy to feel anger from time to time, but it’s important to remember to deal with these emotions in a safe way.
While they may offer a temporary fix, depending on drugs and alcohol to relieve stress can become dangerous and habit-forming. If you know a stressful situation is coming up or are in the midst of a breakdown, these guidelines can help get you through.
