With all the anti-bullying campaigns going around among kids and parents, you'd think everyone would know what a bully looks like. But some people may be sleeping with a bully and not even realize it. Bullying doesn't have to incorporate physical abuse at all. In fact, a bully can be very physically affectionate, even with the ones who he or she bullies. Bullying boils down to aggression, harassment, coercion and threatening behavior. And the behavior isn't necessarily directed toward you, the bully's mate - though it ultimately may reflect negatively on you. The bullying may stem from a desire to be superior, so it may manifest when your mate deals with people who he or she views as "beneath" him or her. This can include people in the service industry - have you ever seen your mate completely overreact when a server messes up an order or serves cold food?
Then you may be in a relationship with a bully. Mocking others who don't perform to the bully's impossible standards is another sign. Check out how your mate deals with kids, whether they're your own or others'. If he or she makes comments like, "Man up! Boys don't cry." or "You throw like a girl, Billy!" under the guise of "just joking," it's probably a safe bet that he or she isn't kidding. Blaming others when he or she is frustrated is another sign of a bully. Making excuses that lay fault on others when something goes wrong at his or her hands is common for bullies, and so is criticizing another person's character instead of owning up to his or her frustration. Talk to your mate about why he or she feels the need to act this way, and if that doesn't work, then a therapist might be helpful.