Everyone says getting a case of cold feet pre-wedding is totally normal, but is it really? Researchers at UCLA recently found that being nervous about marriage can be a harbinger of hard times to come. In a study published in the Journal of Family Psychology, psychologists followed 232 newlywed couples in Los Angeles and interviewed them a few months after marriage, then every six months for four years. What they found was startling. Not only did couples who entered marriage with doubts have trouble down the road, but also, when the doubts came from the women in the relationships, it led to higher divorce rates and more dissatisfaction in the future. Justin Lavner, a UCLA doctoral candidate in psychology and lead author of the study, said, "We found [cold feet were] common but not benign. Newlywed wives who had doubts about getting married before their wedding were two-and-a-half times more likely to divorce four years later than wives without these doubts.
Among couples still married after four years, husbands and wives with doubts were significantly less satisfied with their marriage than those without doubts. You know yourself, your partner and your relationship better than anybody else does; if you're feeling nervous about it, pay attention to that," he added. "It's worth exploring what you're nervous about." While the women surveyed were less likely to express jitters, when they did, it spelled worse news later on than if the men surveyed were nervous. Of the couples who had no doubts about getting married, four years later, researchers found 6 percent of them divorced. Conversely, 19 percent of couples in which the woman expressed doubts about marrying were divorced, and 14 percent of the men who'd expressed doubt found their marriages ending. Second thoughts about marrying shouldn't be dealbreakers; however, they should be discussed and taken seriously.