It seems like the self-help people who call themselves "coaches" can help you get any aspect of your life together. Life, business and financial coaches make a killing by directing and guiding people through life, and they now can do the same for people who are working through breakups. Reportedly, Katy Perry hired a "heartbreak coach" after she and on-again, off-again boyfriend John Mayer broke up the first time. She seemed to need a little more recovery time after her traumatic divorce from Russell Brand. And it appeared to work – she and Mayer are happier than ever after reconciling. While most of us don't have the cash to hire a heartbreak coach – sometimes to the tune of $10,000 or more for just one day of work! – we can use their tips and tricks to recover from a breakup. Aurora Winter, a heartbreak coach and author of From Heartbreak to Happiness, told Grazia magazine, "A broken heart is like a broken arm. When you break your arm, you see a doctor right away. I take them through whatever painful experiences they had and encourage them to stop holding on to them." She calls breakups "growth opportunities" and says coaching is a way to speed emotional growth, allowing for the grieving process, and providing tools for people to have successful relationships in the future. Her five tips on getting over a breakup are as follows. First, be clear on your relationship priorities.
Make a list of your top 12 most desirable characteristics in a partner, and prioritize them from most to least important. Examine the top three characteristics – perhaps they're along the lines of values family, good sense of humor and is a good listener. Don't even bother with anyone who doesn't meet your top three when you start dating again. Shoot for the new person to meet your top six traits as you continue to date. Know when you're ready to start dating – Winter likens getting over a breakup to the stages of grief and compares a breakup to a death in some ways. Until you're past those feelings, you won't be able to move on. She advises those looking for love to "match" that prospective ideal partner in your head. Work on fostering those 12 traits you listed in yourself in order to become a great pairing for that person. And finally, Winter advises those looking for love to think positive. Perhaps you can create a gratitude journal and write down at least one thing a day for which you're grateful. You may not have $10,000 to spend on a heartbreak coach, but you can improve yourself and make yourself the best mate for your ideal partner.