All couples, no matter how new, old or in-between, fight. But no couple fights in the same way. Arguing is not necessarily about getting your way, but many people treat it that way. Here are a few pointers on fighting fair. First, examine your motives for fighting. Do you fight with the expectation of coming to a resolution, or do you fight in the spirit of getting even, winning or controlling your mate? Your relationship shouldn't be competitive - approach a disagreement with the desire to resolve the situation amicably. Next, choose the venue carefully. If you're around family - particularly children - then it's best to wait to resolve the issue in private. It's occasionally OK for kids to see their parents fight - if it's done in the right way. If you know things are going to get heated, then it's best to save it until after the kids go to bed. Keep the discussion in the present. It adds insult to injury when one partner brings up the other's shortcomings from the past.
The motivation for doing so is only hurtful, so simply leave what's in the past there and focus on what's relevant now. Remember with whom you're fighting - this is your partner, not some stranger who's made you angry. Be respectful and mindful of his or her feelings - this is the person who you say you love, after all. Don't jump to conclusions when you think your partner has insulted you. Ask for clarification when you're faced with information you don't understand. Keep the goal of the argument in mind and finish the argument once that goal is achieved. Finally, don't let the argument stretch out indefinitely. There's nothing harmonious about the silent treatment or going rounds and rounds with your mate, only to end up empty-handed in the end.