Can You Be Friends with Non-Moms?

There’s plenty to bond with other moms about, especially when your kids are the same age. But how do you make and retain those friends of yours who don’t have kids? Keeping things relatable on both sides is the key to retaining those friends who either don’t yet have kids, are having trouble conceiving or just plain don’t want kids. Of course, an old friend will share in the joy of your newborn children, but don’t expect her to want to hold the baby, necessarily.Many women just aren’t wired to do that. If she asks, then fine, but don’t feel hurt if she doesn’t go all gaga over Junior. And while it would be great if your friend had kids, too, don’t bug her about it. Persuading her to have kids and making comments like “How could you not want one of these?” while rhapsodizing about your stunning baby simply alienates her if she doesn’t want or can’t have children. Also, interrupting your phone conversations with intermittent chats with your kids is rude, too. Be sure you allow your friend time to talk about what’s going on in her life, instead of being completely caught up in your own.On the other hand, the “grass is always greener” conversation isn’t appropriate, either. It is tempting to think people without kids have a lot of extra time on their hands, but just because your friend doesn’t have kids doesn’t mean she doesn’t have other responsibilities and a fulfilling life. Calling her at 9 a.m. on a Saturday morning and asking if you woke her up is patronizing, although it may sound polite.It sounds like a lot of rules to follow, but keeping those friends who aren’t moms is valuable. They are the ones who will take you out of your mom environment and get you up to speed on what’s going on in the world – gossip, politics, fashion and whatever else you might be interested in catching up on. So go out with your childless friend and enjoy a little non-mom time.