If you’re seeking couples’ therapy as a way to repair and improve your marriage or relationship, then you need to know how to go about it in order to receive maximum benefits. First, timing is everything. The success rates of therapy in keeping couples together isn’t great, according to Psychology Today. That’s because many couples wait until it’s too late and too much damage is done to salvage the relationship. So it’s important to start before the walls go up between you two and lines of communication come down. Many couples also make the mistake of going to the wrong type of therapist, perhaps one who is more effective as a therapist for individuals, not couples. Be sure you’re going to a licensed marriage and family therapist, or LMFT, before you sign up for sessions. A UCLA study of more than 40 years of couples’ therapy boils down the five basic tenets of effective therapy as a couple. First, a good therapist will help both members of the couple see the relationship more objectively, ideally eliminating the “blame game.”Each partner sees the effects of his or her actions on the relationship as a whole. A therapist should assess the relationship for danger and dysfunction by recommending, if necessary, anger management, drug rehabilitation or domestic abuse counseling if these are factors. It’s important to teach the couple to communicate more effectively, while decreasing emotional avoidance. Perhaps a couple has become distant and needs to express their thoughts and emotions more frequently. A counselor should facilitate those discussions and give couples the tools they need to express themselves. Finally, a therapist will promote the strengths in the relationship, showing that all isn’t doom and gloom. Focusing on positive aspects will show the couple that all isn’t lost and the relationship can be saved with work and time.