When you feel like your relationship is on the rocks, the last thing you want to do is create tension about going to couples’ therapy with your partner. So if you believe that talking to a professional may be in your relationship’s best interest, then there are some ways to ease your partner into therapy gently. It’s a challenge sometimes to get men to open up, particularly in a therapeutic setting in which you introduce a third party. A man may feel weak and vulnerable in such a setting, so how can you get him to open up? Ask yourself if his presence in therapy is really necessary. You may not be the problem, but perhaps you could go to therapy yourself to learn a few more ways of managing your own behavior in the relationship. And if the relationship does take a turn for the worse, you’ll be better prepared to cope and deal with your feelings. Approach couples’ therapy in a teamwork fashion – let him know you’re interested in bettering your relationship and becoming a better partner, and would he please join you in learning those lessons? It’s important not to make going to therapy an ultimatum – in other words, don’t use it as a threat in your relationship. Enhancing your relationship is usually more successful if you both go, and involving your own behavior in the decision instead of blaming him for putting you both in the position of needing therapy is a better approach. Instead of requiring him to go, invite him – no strings attached. It’s not too much to ask for him to join you once, and allow him to bow out if it doesn’t feel right. Try not to overstate your feelings and rationale for therapy; it could lead to a heated discussion, which may defeat the purpose of the conversation. Finally, if he buys into the idea and would like some solo sessions, then don’t insist on going. Again, he may feel weak if you see him at his most vulnerable, so if he thinks therapy on his own might benefit your relationship, then you should allow it.