Body language is usually the first thing someone notices about you – consciously or subconsciously. If you are looking to attract a man or set the right tone on a date, let your body do the talking. You may not think so, but you can use your body language to get what you want. Here’s how.

Lean Back – Leaning forward while talking to a man may seem like it will make you look interested when actually it can come off as masculine and aggressive. He may also subconsciously feel as thought he is being chased or trapped. Instead of leaning forward during a conversation, tilt your body backwards. If you are standing, shift your weight subtly so that you appear to be leaning away from him just slightly.

Relax Your Hands – If you find that you’re balling your fists or using your hands a lot when talking, try to remember to relax them. Tightened hands, arms and shoulders can make you seem tense or upset. Try to focus on having open palms and loose wrists. If you are holding a glass or fork loosen your grip. These small changes not only make you appear less anxious it can also give off an heir of femininity.

Eye contact – Eye contact is a fundamental part of attracting someone with body language but it must be done carefully. If you stare harshly or lock eyes with a man from across the room you may come off as hunter or too intense. Instead give a quick glance accompanied by a small smile, look away and then look again once more in the same way. This signals that you are interested but are leaving it up to him to initiate contact.

 

Mirror – One sign of compatibility is the unconscious act of mirroring someone’s movements and mannerisms. Watch what your date or someone you are interested in is doing and follow suit. Smile when he smiles, laugh when he laughs etc. This can create a sense of similarity and closeness in a short period of time.

Slow everything down – Actions like walking too quickly or waving wildly from across the room can make you seem manic or stressed. Slow everything down to show that you are relaxed and confident. Don’t snap your neck to look at someone when they address you, don’t run across the room when you see someone you want to talk to etc.

Arms – You’ve probably heard this one before, but standing with your arms crossed sends a signal that you are being defensive or closed off. Standing with your arms straight stiff to the side also sends a bad message of anger or anxiety. Instead, stand with your arms relaxed at your sides, and if you are sitting, keep your arms folded casually in your lap to show that you are approachable and not hiding anything.

Legs – When standing, the position of the legs is a good indicator of your confidence and mood at the moment. Standing with your legs shoulder width apart demonstrates to those around you that you are relaxed. Taking an even wider stance shows control and that you are grounded. Sitting with your legs uncrossed, much like arms, shows that you are not in “protective mode” and are open to interaction.

 

Touching – If you have engaged in conversation with someone, you can take your body language to the next level by touching the other person. Lightly brushing his arm as you reach for your drink, patting him on the back when laughing at his joke or grazing knees under the table are all small gestures to show you are interested.

Preening – You may do this without realizing it but smoothing your hair, licking your lips, brushing your clothes off etc., is a sign to a man that you want to look good for them.

Your Face – Facial body language can perhaps send the strongest signals as our faces are usually the first thing a person notices. There are many parts of your face that communicate your mood to others. Typically to display interest or desire in another, your eyes will be widened, your eyebrows slightly raised, and your lips will be slightly puckered or parted.

Posture – An upright posture is sure sign of confidence. If you are a life-long sloucher this can be a tough habit to break, but by keeping your chin up, your back straight and shoulders back, you’ll not only help your spine but you’ll send out vibes that you are secure and open to communication.

 

Put Down Objects – Holding an object in front of you such as a purse can indicate shyness or that you are trying to hide something. Also, checking a phone constantly, picking the label of off your beer, or fiddling with your jewelry can signify that you are bored or anxious to get out of the situation or conversation.

Smile – Smiling might seem like a no-brainer but the way you smile can send out certain signals. A fake or forced smile tends to be too wide and show too much teeth. A genuine smile should involve the crinkling of the eyes and reveals little to no teeth. If you don’t feel it, don’t force it – it will only make you come off as fake or anxious.

It may not seem like a big deal but body language could possibly make or break your encounter with someone. The non-verbal cues we give off can be our strongest form of communication, even more so than talking. Studies show that words typically account for only 7% of our effective communication while body language can account for up to 55%. With a little effort and concentration you make a good first impression and hopefully a lasting connection.