Today's Love Tip
With the advent of social media, sexting and sex tapes, it's pretty easy to find out the below-the-belt business of major Hollywood stars. But do you know which A-List stars' not-so-private parts are the biggest in La-La Land? Based on quotes... Read More
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From Sports Widow to Team Player: How to Make the Transition

Sometimes a woman's biggest competition is not another woman; it's sports. Many men spend what seems to be all their waking hours living and breathing sports. If it's not football, it's baseball, basketball, or hockey. While your boyfriend or husband spends countless hours watching ball games, you're feeling more and more neglected. Are you destined to be a sports widow forever? Not to worry. Here are some things you can do to get your man on your team.

Of course, the answer is not to forbid your man from watching sports. It's never pleasurable to have something you enjoy taken away from you. What if your man forbids you to go shopping or get a massage? You wouldn't like that all, would you? It's OK for the both of you to have different interests.

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Benefits of Being a Sports Fan

There are many positive aspects of being a sports fan that you might not be aware of. Sure, you may not feel that grunting and yelling at the TV is beneficial, but think about the other things your man is doing while watching sports. He is probably watching the games with his friends, which gives him precious male bonding time. In addition, it's his way of relaxing, although it may not seem like it.

Your idea of relaxation may be reading a book, while his is rooting for his favorite team. Watching sports also gives your man an adrenaline rush. Having his favorite team score a field goal in the final seconds or watching his team come from behind and shoot a 3-pointer in the basketball game is thrilling to him.


Why Do You Hate Sports?

If you choose to bring up the topic of being a sports widow with your man, you need to first figure out why you hate it that he watches sports so much. Is he neglecting you and the kids? Is he ignoring you? Do you feel left out? Does he get too emotionally attached to the game and become prone to outbursts if his team loses? Is he foregoing his chores and other household duties in order to watch the game? All these factors can make any rational woman dread the weekends. When yelling doesn't work, it's common to resort to sulking or pouting in another room.

How to Help with the Problem

Just like with most other relationship issues, the key is compromise. First of all, just because you don't like sports doesn't mean it's bad and your man shouldn't enjoy it. You should both be free to pursue your own interests. It's best to have a frank discussion with your man (at a time when there's not a game on TV) and let him know your feelings. Most likely, he is too involved in the game to know how you really feel.

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You don't want to have your man resent you. Don't tell him he can't watch any more games or make him feel guilty for watching them. Everyone needs down time once in a while, but if you feel that he's spending so much time watching sports that the household is being neglected, then you may want to suggest a compromise. Maybe he should only watch the most important games instead of every single one that happens to be on TV.


It can also be good for you to compromise as well. Are you interested in sports at all? Are you willing to learn more about the rules of a particular sport? Pick a game and watch it with your husband. Ask him questions about the rules and the types of plays. You can even ask for his advice on what teams to root for. Your man will most likely enjoy the fact that you are interested in sports. At the same time, it's a great way for the two of you to bond. If he's not willing to teach you the fundamentals of the game, go online on your own time and learn the basics. You can then impress him the next time a game is on. Who knows, you might end up loving sports as much as he does.

If watching sports is just not your thing at all, don't just sit at home and sulk or nag at your man. Use the time to catch up on some relaxation of your own. Go hang out at a nearby park, go shopping, get a massage, or have coffee with friends.

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What if It's an Obsession?

Although most men do not have a bona fide addiction or obsession with sports, there are some instances in which women, children, and households are truly neglected because of a man's addiction to sports. Spending more than 15 hours per week watching sports is enough to ruin a relationship. It's important that your man spends time with you or all you will feel is resentment and jealousy. If the sports get out of hand, you need to be honest with him and let him know your feelings. Allowing your anger to build up will only make things worse.


If your man is watching sports more and more, to the point where your relationship is suffering, then your man may have some deeper issues. Some men become obsessed with work or hobbies to avoid dealing with their personal lives. If your man is placing sports above your relationship, then you need to uncover the underlying issue. Until you do so, sports will continue to rule the household. If the situation does not improve, then you and your man may need to resort to professional counseling to keep the relationship from falling apart.

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Communication is Key

Communication is key to a fulfilling relationship. Be honest with your man and let him know how you feel about the amount of time he spends watching sports. However, as long as he takes care of his household duties and makes time for you later, let him enjoy watching sports. Try to be supportive of his interests. Who knows? He just may be willing to go with you to that new chick flick you've been wanting to see.


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Do Opposites Really Attract?

They say opposites attract, but do they really?

In its most basic sense, an opposite is someone who is different. But not all differences are attractive.

For instance, you might be on the shy side. Yet you have always admired those who are bold and brash. Therefore, you might be attracted to someone like this.

But let's say you tend to be more conservative. Someone who is completely the opposite, with a more liberal view of things might not be as attractive to you. Sure, it can happen but in general there are some opposites we would never be drawn to. {relatedarticles}

When opposites do attract it tends to be more about a person's characteristics rather than their values or standards. This is especially true if you are looking down the road at a long-term relationship.

Opposites Who Complement One Another

One of the appealing forces behind opposite attractions is when it's complementary. Those who are big risk takers can be slowed down by someone who thinks through their decisions first.

Yet on the other hand, those who tend to be more careful about things might learn how fun spontaneity can be with the risk taker. This is an example of opposites who complement each other.


When a relationship is built on complementary traits, it can actually help you learn and grow, not only as a couple but individually as well. There may be things in yourself that you never realized you were capable of or there may be things that you never knew could be changed.

When opposites begin to butt heads at every turn, this is a sure sign that attraction has faded. No longer do you find those opposing ways to be appealing, now they are nothing more than disturbances.

Temporary vs. Long-Term Attraction

The importance of whether or not opposites attract only matters if you are looking for a long-term relationship. When you are initially dating someone, it is a temporary attraction that yes, while it can turn permanent, doesn't usually matter how alike or unalike you are.{relatedarticles}

In fact, you may be trying to figure that all out. What traits in yourself would you like to find in someone else? What are those things that you don't like about yourself that you would never want to deal with in another person?

This is a learning process that you may have to go through before you realize what you really want in a relationship. Although it might not matter in the beinning, it becomes much more important when you start thinking about a future together. Temporary attraction only goes so far when it comes to certain aspects of a relationship.


Issues such as where you will live, religion, careers, money, and having children will require an attraction that has some commonalities. For instance, if you enjoy the adventurous side of things and would like to move to a fast-paced city, that may not go over well with the one who prefers to live a quiet life in the country.

Or if you tend to be the type who spends their money as soon as it's earned, the one who likes to save might find this to be difficult to live with long term. This is where similarities will make a significant difference in a relationship.

Don't Expect to Change the Other

What often happens to couples who are the opposite is that eventually down the road one tries to change the other. Suddenly they don't find those opposite qualities to be so endearing. This can lead to a new mission in life, the one of reshaping the other.

It's important to realize that everyone has differences, which should be respected. Even if it's not something you agree with, it doesn't necessarily mean it's wrong. If you go into a relationship attracted to someone but determined to eventually help them see their wrongful ways, it will likely backfire. People are not meant to be molded and shaped like a piece of clay.{relatedarticles}

Sure, there are things that everyone could change. But it's not our job to try and change others. We are responsible for ourselves, no one else.

At the same time, it might help to learn how to embrace some of those differences. It will give you a better appreciation of that person and the world at large.

Wouldn't this world be a pretty boring place if everyone was the same? Think about it, would you really want to wake up and face every single day with someone who is just like you? Oftentimes what keeps a relationship alive and growing is the very fact that there are differences.


Learn to Negotiate

Sometimes those differences in a relationship can be negotiated. Smaller issues such as television viewing could be resolved by watching your partner's favorite show one night and your favorite show another night.

Even bigger issues can be negotiated. You might want to have a large family but your partner would prefer one child. You could negotiate somewhere down the middle.

It's not easy to negotiate important issues like that. But when your attraction to the opposite goes beyond the surface, you will both learn how to do it.{relatedarticles}

Only Time Will Tell

The truth is that only time will tell if opposites attracted to one another can make it work. That initial attraction can wear off.

When you are faced with the work that goes along with a relationship, suddenly you come to terms with whether or not you have the makings for it. So perhaps it's not so much about opposites attracting as there are certain qualities in others that we are more drawn to.

When it comes right down to it, there will always be similarities and differences between two people. While one side may weigh more heavily than the other, mutual attraction can be found in a variety of ways.


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Tip to Save a Marriage

If your marriage is on the rocks, you should understand the exact problem before doing what is needed to solve it. Here is my tip on how to save a marriage for all couples whether they just got married or have been married for some time.

It does not really matter if you are a man or woman. Nor does it matter if you manage all the bills and look after children. Rather what it matters is that you should take the initiative to solve all problems in maintaining healthy and loving relationships.

The most important thing is not to argue with your partner and keep thinking you are right.{relatedarticles}

Being defensive or egoistic only succeeds in making her feel suffocated and causes your partner to drift further away from you even if you are staying under one roof and sleeping together. Instead, learn to control your emotions and be calm however hard it may seem initially.

Another important point to remember is to never ever beg for the your partner to return to you if things get heated up. Instead you need to provide a space for your partner by allowing him or her to stay and spend time with family. Doing this will improve your self-esteem.


Remember the purpose of marriage is to assist and support each other through ups and downs. Love is an important bridge to link a husband and wife in good and bad times.

Learn to show your passion with your partner in new ways every day. Use romantic competition, humour, messages and games to engage and brighten up your partner. Or learning a new skill like cooking and writing a poem.

Marriage is not about being in love with each other by hugging, kissing, having sex and sleeping together. It is about loving each other as a whole be it adjusting to each other's lifestyle and living habits, accepting each other's flaws and weaknesses but more importantly, staying united at all times.{relatedarticles}

This can affect your children as well as broken marriages naturally led to broken families.

Though getting advice from family, friends and marriage counsellors is helpful, they should be used as a last resort since marriage is primarily between you and your spouse agreeing with each other in order to make it work and last forever.

About The Author

But if following my tip still does not work for any reason, you may want to check out this site that specifically deals with marriage issues here. The author invites you to visit: http://savethismarriageguide.blogspot.com


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