We’ve all had that icky feeling upon waking up after having a vivid sex dream about someone with whom you have no business having sex or getting down in strange ways as you slumber. The thing about sexual dreams, particularly when they happen in implausible situations, is that they don’t really reveal feelings about sex. For example, getting busy with a coworker or boss in your dreams can signify your career desires. Perhaps you’re dreaming about your boss because you desire a raise or promotion. Sexual relations with a coworker might reveal anxieties about rivalries or your need to diversify your job duties. When you dream about sex with someone of the same sex, and you don’t identify as gay, then don’t think you’re going to start pitching for the other team in real life. Same-sex experiences in your dreams may signify issues with your self-esteem, particularly if in the dream you or the other party focuses on a certain body part. You may desire some attribute or talent that they possess – not necessarily their bodies.

Insecurities play a part in cheating dreams, too – whether you’re the one cheating on your partner or the one being cheated on. If you’re the cheater, examine ways in which you feel you might’ve wronged your partner and strive to make things right. And don’t beat yourself up about dreaming about your friend’s mate – you’re probably simply fixating on a quality that he or she has that you’d like to possess yourself. Finally, if you dream about having a tail, genitalia of the opposite sex (or both sets of genitalia) or any other strange sexual quality, then it doesn’t mean you were born a hermaphrodite. It perhaps means that you need to embrace some of the qualities of the opposite sex, such as masculinity if you’re a woman. Or you could be maturing and growing as a person. These types of dreams can be common as we enter different life phases, such as menopause. So don’t take an odd dream or two as a sign that you need to spend some quality time with a therapist – they’re normal, even if they don’t feel that way!