Sex for Dummies: Who Can Help You Get Your Groove On

Feel like you’re fumbling in the bedroom? Everyone deserves a happy, healthy and fulfilling sex life but inexperience, social stigmas or self-esteem can all keep you from reaching your sexual potential. You might feel like you’ll be stuck as a 40-year-old virgin or an awkward one-night stand forever, but there is hope. Check out these resources, people and places that can help you get your mojo back.

A Sex Therapist – Okay, okay you’re probably having flashbacks of Dr. Ruth or your mother’s old dog-eared copy of “The Joy of Sex” but modern sex therapy is a whole new game. While visiting a sex therapist may not be up there on your list of “fun things to do” it can be quite beneficial.

A professional sexual counselor can help you work through your issues in a private and neutral environment. Whether it is shyness, inability to reach orgasm or a health disorder – you can work to improve it through mind and body exercises.

Sex School – These classes go beyond what you learned in sex ed. Popping up all over the country in erotic stores and natural health clinics are sensuality workshops that teach men and women new sexual techniques that can improve your performance and make you more comfortable experimenting in the bedroom. Topics can range anywhere from massage to mastering the art of dirty talk. Go on, make him hot for teacher.

Pole Dancing Classes – Feel like your moves could use a little updating? Trying to build up your sexual bravado? Pole dancing classes could give you the confidence boost you’ve been looking for.

Not only will you learn new steps to get your man’s heart pumping, you’ll get a workout and start feeling better about your body image. Typically most classes are made of all women so there’s no need to feel self-conscious when learning how to shake it.

Pull Out an Anatomy Book – Sexual anxiety may stem from the fact that you aren’t sure what you’re looking at down there and how it works. Obviously a penis and a vagina are no-brainers but what about the clitoris or prostate?

Take time to explore yourself with a hand mirror and see if you can pick out your hot spots. Knowing what parts are what and how they are stimulated may ease some of your worry and make you a better lover.

Watch Porn – No, really, it might seem silly or make you blush but exposing yourself to sexual activity in the privacy of your own home can allow you the ability to become more comfortable with the idea of sex.

You can pick up tips on positions and familiarize yourself with the sights and sounds you may experience. The more you can watch the more relaxed and prepared you will feel when it’s time to hit the sheets. If you’re worried about looking like a perv to the neighbors, don’t fret – online ordering can keep you conspicuous.

Take a Trip to Nevada – Places like the Moonlite Bunny Ranch or the Kit Kat Club in Carson City, Nevada, are legally licensed to offer sexual services for patrons. It can be pretty pricey though, so make sure this is the way you want to go. It can cost anywhere from $500 to $1,400 for a full-on sexual experience with one of the brothel workers.

If you’ve got the cash to make a trip you can have a professional teach you the ropes without the emotional investment and embarrassment that can come along with trying to figure out a sexual relationship on your own.

Your Primary Care Physician – Many sexual problems stem from health problems that you may not be aware of. Issues like high blood pressure, diabetes, depression and side effects from certain medications can all kill your libido. A quick visit to the doctor could save your sex life and keep you from a major health scare in the process.

Change Your Mindset – Start to think of your sexual inexperience as a good thing. In relationships, some partners may actually prefer someone who is willing to learn how to satisfy them and who does not already have certain habits or techniques. Embrace your level of experience and let your partner show you the ropes.

Join a Support Group – After life-changing events like a rape, cancer or death of a close loved one, sexual issues can arise. You may not feel emotionally ready or you could be experiencing physical issues such as dryness and pain.

There are on and offline support groups for women suffering from sexual issues because of health or psychological causes. A quick Internet search can provide you with a listing of groups in your area or online that can offer you a resource for getting over your sexual situation.

A Personal Trainer – Maybe the reason you’re falling flat in the bedroom is that extra flab. Invest in the services of a personal trainer who can get you looking and feeling your best, which will result in boosting your confidence when the lights go down and the clothes come off. With your newfound fitness you may also feel more comfortable slipping into lingerie or a sexy swimsuit. Who knows, you might meet your next tryst at kickboxing class or running on the track.

Remember that there is nothing wrong or uncommon about being sexually shy or inexperienced. Societal pressures, media, and the Internet have sent mixed messages about sexual norms.

Either you’re a bad and naughty girl for thinking about sex or you’re an uptight loser for lack of promiscuity. However, it’s up to you to overcome awkwardness or inadequacy by finding the methods that work for you and make you feel comfortable.

No matter what method, or combination of methods, you choose to unlock your sexuality it won’t work if it’s a way that makes you uncomfortable or feels fake, go at your own pace and you’ll be in the groove in no time!