When Kids Need to Hear "the Talk"
It's a time when parents may wish they'd considered having kids a little more carefully – we're talking about when it's time to discuss the birds and the bees. The bad news is that kids need to hear some version of "the talk" earlier and earlier. Puberty's onset has started earlier as the years have progressed, and it's not uncommon to see kids who are as young as 8 sprouting breast buds or hair. While the average age of menstruation for girls is around 12, they may start menstruating as early as 9 years old. So it's best to tackle the talk in phases. First, school yourself. Can you get through an accurate discussion of the intricacies of all the symptoms of puberty? Next, assess your child's maturity and how much you believe he or she can handle at his or her age. You may want to limit a discussion with a younger child just to the first puberty symptoms they'll experience and leave out the other sex for the time being. It's important, for example, for a girl to be familiar with the symptoms of menstruation, lest she reenacts the infamous scene from the film Carrie in the school locker room! Kids can be tough on one another, and when they know what's going on with their own bodies, it's easier to deal with comments and teasing. As the child ages, particularly if he or she is expressing romantic feelings, it's important to convey the nitty-gritty of sex – aka how babies are made. You might want to frame the discussion around a day when you can spend quality time together, creating an environment where your child feels it's OK to come to you to discuss these matters. In the long run, as embarrassing and painful as it might be, he or she will appreciate the open attitude you have to discussing such matters – and you'll be able to head off any potential problems.