Who says there's no such thing as bad sex?
While most men might argue that bad sex is better than no sex or that beggars can't be choosers, that's honestly far from the truth. Sometimes sex just isn't memorable. The good news is that if you've found someone you really love (or like), it's possible to improve bedroom behavior.
Women's Complex Bodies and Men's Anxiety
Women's bodies are all so different. One woman isn't aroused in nearly the same way as another woman. This can cause a guy to feel inadequate in a new relationship because he has no idea what to do to please you.
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It's highly likely that your guy is using techniques that he successfully tried on other women. The problem is that it doesn't work on you.
If you're unsure on how to move forward without leaving your relationship in the dust, start by communicating with him. You don't want to make him feel awful by saying something like, "I really don't like what you do down there." Instead, try something like, "I would love to show you what gets me going if you want to watch."
Your guy will not object to this if he really wants to please you. He may even be thankful that you're finally giving him a clue about what he needs to do.
If you don't feel comfortable masturbating in front of him, then simply tell him what to do. Having better communication during sex can improve your overall sex life.
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Here's an example:
You guys are getting hot and heavy with some kissing, and his hand starts to creep down to your crotch. You immediately think the worst, because you know it's not going to be a good time with his rough hands that seem to have no control.
Instead of dreading what he is about to do, lay your hand on his and move it the way you like it and want it. Let go at times to see if he gets the hint, if he doesn't, lay your hands on his again to show him what to do again. You can even whisper, "I like it like this...more like this."
When His Penis Is Too Small
Unfortunately, not all men are as well-endowed as you want them to be. For this reason, you need to adjust the sex according to his size.
The best way to accommodate a smaller penis is to lie on your back in missionary position and bring your legs up as close to you as possible. This will help him penetrate deeply, increasing your sensation.
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If you can't bring your legs close enough to you, try to lie on your back or stomach and keep your legs together. When he penetrates you that way, it causes you to be tighter so you'll feel more of him.
When His Penis Is Too Large
Bigger isn't always better. This is especially true when you have a large guy with a petite woman.
To accommodate his large size, make sure you are lubricated enough from foreplay before penetration. Stay on top during intercourse. That way, you can control how deep his penis penetrates.
If he insists on being on top, communicate how far he can go so he doesn't hurt you. You can make him feel a lot better about himself by acknowledging that it's because of him being so large.
Spice It Up to Make Bad Sex Better
People in long-term relationships often think they can't have wild sex. They think because they have been with the person for a while that it's not supposed to be exciting anymore.
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This is simply not true and the reason why so many long-term couples have issues in the bedroom. You can always have wild sex, as long as you make it that way.
Try to bring in different sex toys, so you both can have fun trying them out. It's a perfect way to find out what each of you likes and increase sexual communication.
If you see something on television or a movie you want to try out, watch it with your partner to show him what you would like to do with him. He'll get excited seeing someone else in the moment and then want replicate it with you.
Everyone has fantasies, but not too many people share them, especially with their sex partners. Sharing your fantasies with your partner is one way to make bad sex better.
Scared that he'll think you are too much of a freak? Start with a fantasy that isn't too shocking first to see how he handles it. If he isn't too surprised by it, share a little more as you gain confidence in his reactions. Soon, you'll likely be able to spill out all the parts of your fantasies with the objective of making them come true.
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When Bad Sex Is a Symptom
Many people focus too much on a symptom of a problem, such as bad sex, rather than trying to identify the cause. Many times, the real issue is the relationship and not the sex.
When people are upset, resentful or not emotionally connected to their partners, sex will suffer. They won't feel like doing anything to increase sexual pleasure because they aren't interested in receiving pleasure from it.
To make bad sex better when there are relationship problems, you need to attack the problems outside of the bedroom first. When you develop a stronger bond in your relationship, your sex life naturally will improve.
It Takes Two to Have Better Sex
Making bad sex better involves getting your partner involved. If he is not willing to change because he's not interested in pleasing you as much as you want to please him, you may want to think about your relationship with him.
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Selfishness in the bedroom can sometimes overlap into the relationship, which can cause serious problems. Identifying the reasons why he doesn't want to please you will help you decide if you should move on to someone who is much more attentive to your needs and wants.
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Body language is usually the first thing someone notices about you - consciously or subconsciously. If you are looking to attract a man or set the right tone on a date, let your body do the talking. You may not think so, but you can use your body language to get what you want. Here's how.
Lean Back - Leaning forward while talking to a man may seem like it will make you look interested when actually it can come off as masculine and aggressive. He may also subconsciously feel as thought he is being chased or trapped. Instead of leaning forward during a conversation, tilt your body backwards. If you are standing, shift your weight subtly so that you appear to be leaning away from him just slightly. {relatedarticles}
Relax Your Hands - If you find that you're balling your fists or using your hands a lot when talking, try to remember to relax them. Tightened hands, arms and shoulders can make you seem tense or upset. Try to focus on having open palms and loose wrists. If you are holding a glass or fork loosen your grip. These small changes not only make you appear less anxious it can also give off an heir of femininity.
Eye contact - Eye contact is a fundamental part of attracting someone with body language but it must be done carefully. If you stare harshly or lock eyes with a man from across the room you may come off as hunter or too intense. Instead give a quick glance accompanied by a small smile, look away and then look again once more in the same way. This signals that you are interested but are leaving it up to him to initiate contact.
Mirror - One sign of compatibility is the unconscious act of mirroring someone's movements and mannerisms. Watch what your date or someone you are interested in is doing and follow suit. Smile when he smiles, laugh when he laughs etc. This can create a sense of similarity and closeness in a short period of time.
Slow everything down - Actions like walking too quickly or waving wildly from across the room can make you seem manic or stressed. Slow everything down to show that you are relaxed and confident. Don't snap your neck to look at someone when they address you, don't run across the room when you see someone you want to talk to etc.{relatedarticles}
Arms - You've probably heard this one before, but standing with your arms crossed sends a signal that you are being defensive or closed off. Standing with your arms straight stiff to the side also sends a bad message of anger or anxiety. Instead, stand with your arms relaxed at your sides, and if you are sitting, keep your arms folded casually in your lap to show that you are approachable and not hiding anything.
Legs - When standing, the position of the legs is a good indicator of your confidence and mood at the moment. Standing with your legs shoulder width apart demonstrates to those around you that you are relaxed. Taking an even wider stance shows control and that you are grounded. Sitting with your legs uncrossed, much like arms, shows that you are not in "protective mode" and are open to interaction.
Touching - If you have engaged in conversation with someone, you can take your body language to the next level by touching the other person. Lightly brushing his arm as you reach for your drink, patting him on the back when laughing at his joke or grazing knees under the table are all small gestures to show you are interested.
Preening - You may do this without realizing it but smoothing your hair, licking your lips, brushing your clothes off etc., is a sign to a man that you want to look good for them.{relatedarticles}
Your Face - Facial body language can perhaps send the strongest signals as our faces are usually the first thing a person notices. There are many parts of your face that communicate your mood to others. Typically to display interest or desire in another, your eyes will be widened, your eyebrows slightly raised, and your lips will be slightly puckered or parted.
Posture - An upright posture is sure sign of confidence. If you are a life-long sloucher this can be a tough habit to break, but by keeping your chin up, your back straight and shoulders back, you'll not only help your spine but you'll send out vibes that you are secure and open to communication.
Put Down Objects - Holding an object in front of you such as a purse can indicate shyness or that you are trying to hide something. Also, checking a phone constantly, picking the label of off your beer, or fiddling with your jewelry can signify that you are bored or anxious to get out of the situation or conversation.
Smile - Smiling might seem like a no-brainer but the way you smile can send out certain signals. A fake or forced smile tends to be too wide and show too much teeth. A genuine smile should involve the crinkling of the eyes and reveals little to no teeth. If you don't feel it, don't force it - it will only make you come off as fake or anxious.{relatedarticles}
It may not seem like a big deal but body language could possibly make or break your encounter with someone. The non-verbal cues we give off can be our strongest form of communication, even more so than talking. Studies show that words typically account for only 7% of our effective communication while body language can account for up to 55%. With a little effort and concentration you make a good first impression and hopefully a lasting connection.
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Trust is an important part of any relationship. If you don't have faith in your boyfriend or husband, the connection you share can't help but feel hollow. Yet, like everything else that matters in life, the bond you have with your significant other isn't black and white.
The gray areas will always be there, especially if you have reason to believe your partner is not being up front with you. While it isn't ideal, peeking at his Internet history may give you some insight into the true character of the man of your dreams.
But beware. You just might see some sites that should never pop up in his browser. So take a deep breath and consider this list of five web sites that you don't want anywhere near your man's computer.
Pornography Sites
If you find out that the love of your life has a few favorite sites that qualify as porn, you may have an issue. Although it doesn't always mean anything is wrong with your relationship, some women think it's a deal breaker. That's because the need to watch porn could point to deficiencies in the real-life romance.
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Also, there are cases where porn becomes an unhealthy addiction. And that can't help but do damage to the sexual chemistry you've developed with your man.
The other side of the story is that porn may be an exciting way to freshen up your sex life. So you may look at such sites as a plus, not so much as an insurmountable crisis.
However, every woman has her own view of porn. You'd be wise to draw your own conclusions on this subject. But if you feel pornography shouldn't be part of your man's browser, use this topic as an excuse to have an open discussion about what you want from this relationship. It might take your bond in a new and important direction.
Dating Sites
You've been through lots of ups and downs with your man, which, logically, leads you to believe you're both committed to each other and no one else. But then you find out he's got a collection of dating sites in his browser. What does it mean? Unfortunately, such a discovery may not a good sign for the happily ever after you've imagined with this guy.
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Some men like to explain that they're just on these types of sites to meet people. It's as innocent as that. But if this is really the case, why choose sites that are designed to create romantic attachments? That's the question you have to ask yourself in a situation like this.
Gay Sites
When you plan to live the rest of your life with a man, the last thing you'd ever want to find in his browser are pages and pages of gay sites. It can only spell doom for your future, if you've always wished for a heterosexual, monogamous guy to be with for years to come.
But there is always the possibility that your main squeeze is simply curious about homosexual love. It may not be anything more than that. Of course, this can be a very embarrassing topic and one that the man in your life is hesitant to admit. Yet this secret interest may be the true reason behind his habit of storing gay sites on the home PC.
Still, the fact that you've found these web sites should give you reason to take a step back and really look at this relationship. It could be that your man is truly attracted to his own sex. If this is the real reason for his behavior, it will certainly get in the way of the romantic aspect of your attraction.
Couples counseling may be the way to go to figure out the next step in your relationship.
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Spy Sites
You've been dating your life partner for a while and think you share a mutual trust. But everything changes in an instant when you discover he's been browsing through sites that enable him to spy on your computer activity. Now that goodwill is out the window.
Every aspect of the faith you thought you had in each other is under scrutiny because he has revealed that he doesn't believe in you. Whether his paranoia is because of past infidelities or he just has problems trusting women in general, this doesn't bode well for your future as a couple.
The fact that he's taken this extreme step to watch you online when you don't have a clue he's around brings up other disturbing questions. Where are his ethics? Does he have any? And if he is going out of his way to monitor you so secretively, what kind of information is he holding back from you?
These are all topics that need to be discussed before you can build any kind of trust with this man again. Otherwise, this cagey behavior is only going to get worse, building a foundation of suspicion on what should be a satisfying relationship.
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Married Or Cheating Types of Sites
You've taken marital vows and they mean the world to you. But what happens when you find out your very own husband is fixated on sites that help him cheat on you? Believe it or not, these web sites are pretty common. And they can spell the end of the marriage you've held so dear.
Not only does this discovery speak volumes about your hubby's trustworthiness, but it says a lot about his respect for you in general. The slogan for one site is, "Join us today! It's free. Don't be married and bored or married and lonely. You can have fun meeting up with other marrieds in your area for married affairs and much more."
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Sadly, however, the act of having an affair has been glamorized on the internet. Some of these sites actively promote the excitement of this kind of passionate liaison, creating marketing slogans that make immoral behavior fun. Your significant other may just be one of the many men who fall victim to a catchy advertising campaign, even at the expense of your marriage.
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