Ask your man about his idea of a hot movie to get you in the mood, and it's likely you'll get a one-word answer: porn. The notion makes many of us ladies wrinkle our noses, but why is that? It probably has something to do with the way we're wired.
When it comes to steamy flicks to get us in the mood, having an in-depth story line definitely helps, anything to give that emotional connection. Then again, if you're looking for a film that gets both going, you don't want anything that is borderline sappy chick-flick.
It's a fine balance, finding a movie that will appeal to his basic instincts and your need to connect and stimulate all senses. Luckily, some of the major movie studios haven't let us down. There's a little bit of something for everyone here, with some tempting options spanning the '80s, '90s, and 2000s. Here's our take on the top 4 hottest movies to get you going.
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Wild Orchid
What it's About: When Emily accepts a job with an international law firm, it comes with 1 condition: She must be able to fly out the next day to Rio de Janeiro to help the firm's top executive, Claudia, close the sale of a hotel. A turn of events pulls Claudia away to Buenos Aires, and Emily is encouraged to take her boss' date, James Wheeler, for the night.
Emily is instantly drawn to Wheeler's quiet and intriguing personality. After a slew of sexual encounters (including one with a masked stranger at Carnival and heated conversation with Claudia and a surfer in their hotel room) the sexual tension Emily feels for Wheeler comes to a breaking point.
Why it's Hot: The scent of wild orchids like the ones Wheeler gave Emily can all at once be both overwhelming but beautiful, much like the intoxicating cloud that seems to envelope the setting for this movie with lustful undertones.
Add the steaminess of Rio with the intrigue of Carnival and the allure of Mickey Rourke (in 1989, pre-surgery of course) and it's no wonder that Emily was swept along on a wave of lust and desire that even she couldn't seem to control.
Tasty Tidbit: The original cut was edited to be suitable for an R-rating. Look for the uncut version, with a love scene between Claudia and Wheeler that is rumored to this day to be more than merely acting.
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9 1/2 Weeks
What it's About: This mid-80s flick could be described as borderline "S&M in the City." A chance meeting at a Chinese grocery store in New York City is the location where their eyes first locked. And then, as luck would have it, Elizabeth (played by Kim Basinger), a Soho art gallery assistant, and John, a commodities broker, meet again at a local flea market.
This time, John presents her with a stole, and after taking her back to his houseboat, offers an experimental sexual relationship. She accepts, and in the weeks that follow, Elizabeth is swept up in the eroticism. As the sexual journey unfolds, the movie comes to an unexpected conclusion.
Why it's Hot: In everyday life, it seems there is a routine, a familiarity with relationships and intimacy. From the start, Elizabeth and John do not follow the traditional path of romance. After all, John blindfolds her during one of their first sexual encounters - a foreshadowing of what is to come.
As the movie unfolds, John calls Elizabeth at random times, encourages her to experiment with her sexuality, pushing her to the brink of her limits. As the two fall deeper into their sexual obsession, Elizabeth spends her workdays in a haze, perhaps partly from lust and partly from lack of sleep.
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Once again, it doesn't hurt that John is played by a 1980s Mickey Rourke, the decade's hottest commodity.
Tasty Tidbit: One scene to watch for is when John blindfolds Elizabeth and feeds her an array of foods, tantalizing the senses. Want to see what makes this scene perhaps the most talked about from the entire film? You'll have to watch and find out.
Basic Instinct
What it's About: This movie has some of the most alluring facets of a Hollywood film. It has a little rock 'n roll, mixed with murder and of course - sex. The stage is set with the murder of rocker Johnny Boz. When San Francisco detective Nick Curran (Michael Douglas) is assigned to the case, he immediately suspects crime novelist Catherine Trammel (Sharon Stone) and, coincidentally, Boz's girlfriend viciously killed him. The murder weapon: an ice pick.
Interrogating her turns out to be harder than he could have imagined. Catherine is not only intense and seductive, she's also clever. What follows next is a mind game first fueled by lust and then lived out in wild sexual forays the likes Curran has never experienced.
Why it's Hot: Nick and Catherine's relationship begins as a cat-and-mouse game of sorts. The mind games build anticipation for the torrid sexual relationship to follow. Mixed in is a sense of danger. Catherine says she'll base her next novel's main character on a cop who falls in love with a woman who eventually kills him. This flick is truly a thriller with explicit sex scenes thrown in, for good measure.
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Tasty tidbit: Director Paul Verhoeven must have done something right, because the thriller turned out to be one of the top grossing films of the 90s, raking in more than $350 million. The original version was originally rated NC-17, but after cutting nearly a minute of explicit sex scenes, it was dropped back down to its mainstream R-rating. If you want to see the film in its entirety, look for the director's cut.
Secretary
What it's About: Meet Lee, a subdued young woman who has just gotten out of a mental hospital for her masochistic habits and returned home to Florida. She takes a job as a secretary at Edward Grey's law firm. Edward has a unique management style. Typos and other office errors call for a firm spanking, where Lee must place both hands on the desk while he hits her lightly until her skin is reddened.
While this may sound borderline abusive (not to mention violating all sorts of sexual harassment laws), it's presented in a deliciously fun way as Lee begins to crave her boss' hard hand of discipline. As she begins to purposely fail just to receive more spankings, sexual fantasies ensue.
Why it's Hot: This quirky play on the secretary-boss stereotype takes the notion of dominance and submission role-playing to the extreme. While we tend to stray from an attitude of subservience in our everyday lives, this film has fun with the concept in a purely sexual way.
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Throughout most of the film, Edward and Lee don't actually have sex, but instead fantasies build the anticipation. It doesn't hurt that Edward is played by James Spader, already known for his TV role as a charming, quick-witted lawyer, and that Lee (Maggie Gyllenhaal) appears so sweet on the surface but is ready to do most anything - no matter how deranged - to get sexual release.
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If you are looking for a fun and exciting way to spice up your bedroom when the most romantic night of the year rolls around, why not start with your five senses? Creating a sensory, romantic ambiance with your five senses is sure to put an exclamation point at the end of your Valentine's Day.{relatedarticles}
Smell
Let's start with your sense of smell because this is usually the first thing we are aware of when we enter a room. It's really easy to create a romantic aroma in our bedroom because there is an endless array of aromatherapy candles and incense.
So pick your favorite scented candle(s) and light it up! We are, after all, still mammals, and our sense of smell triggers all sorts of chemical reactions in the brain that arouse our sensuality.
Sight
As we enjoy a romantic aroma in our bedroom, we (almost) simultaneously take in the sights of our surroundings. When you are creating a romantic setting, romantic lighting is an absolute must! My preference is to keep all electrical lights off and use only candles. But you might prefer the effervescent glow of a salt crystal lamp or the dimness of light provided by putting a pink shade or scarf over your lampshade. {relatedarticles}
Touch
Tactile stimulation, more commonly referred to as touch, is essential for putting us in a romantic mood. Therefore, I suggest cozy pillows, soft silky sheets, and maybe a fuzzy throw rug. But the crown in the jewel here is rose petals sprinkled on and around the bed!
Sound
Now who doesn't love a little music to create a romantic ambiance in your bedroom? It doesn't matter who your favorite recording artist is, have background music playing in your bedroom at a soft low volume. Remember, you don't want to have to yell over the music to have a conversation with your partner. If you are not a music lover, try having the sound of ocean waves breaking on the shore - or anything that relaxes you and gets you in the mood.{relatedarticles}
Taste
Have a bottle of wine and/or champagne chilling by the bedside along with some chocolates and/or chocolate covered strawberries - you get the idea. Chocolate is known to be an aphrodisiac so that is why I suggest it, but any type of your favorite food and/or drinks will do.
There are plenty more ways you can use your five senses to create a romantic bedroom ambiance. Whatever puts an exclamation point on the end of your Valentine's Day (night) is a go!About The Author
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By Rori Raye, Author of the best-selling eBook Have The Relationship You Want and free newsletter
What is it that makes a man feel a truly strong connection with a woman – the kind of connection that makes him fall in love? The answer may surprise you.
In order to inspire his total devotion, you need to stop using all the wrong ways that most women think work to get love, but really just push men away. These ways prevent men from connecting with you - deeply and emotionally - so your relationships are only temporary or never happen at all.
All they ever lead to are a buddy, a "player" or a man just "passing through" on his way to the "real" love of his life. And you need to stop taking them...right now...if you want to inspire his affection and commitment.
Wrong Way #1: The Logical Road (MIND)
You shine during a discussion and you have a lot in common. You impress a man and make him enjoy your company, but you may feel disappointed to learn that he feels no CHEMISTRY.
That's because when you try to connect with a man through his mind, he doesn't FEEL a thing!
Oh, he may "enjoy being with you," but he just never gets TOUCHED by you in a deep, connected, emotional sense.
He never feels like he's about to lose control of himself and fall in love.
Wrong Way #2: The Physical Road (BODY)
Despite what a lot of women think, men do not become attached through sex, even if it's fabulous. We've all been sold on the idea that a woman who likes sex and is "good" in bed is ALL IMPORTANT to a man.
And it's not. It's just a small part of the whole picture for him.
All it DOES give you is a "sex buddy," not a partner, not a boyfriend, not a husband. You'll also end up with a broken heart because you'll get attached and he won't want anything "real" with you.
Wrong Way #3: The Spiritual Road (SPIRIT)
I meet many women who value their spiritual beliefs and want to be with a man who SHARES their values and spiritual interest and commitment.
And it's SO EASY to mistake the friendship that can grow between two people who worship in the same way, who care about the same things, for a passionate, emotional bond.
And yet, all that will get you - at best - is a deep friendship. He'll tell everyone what a great woman you are, but he won't be dreaming about you night after night or longing to hold you in his arms.
The Right Way To Inspire His Devotion: Connecting Through His Heart!
In order to connect with a man's heart so he'll feel compelled to be with you, worship and adore you the way you deserve, you have to feel YOUR own heart first. Once he feels your heart, he'll open up his, creating a heart-to-heart connection that begins with expressing your feelings and being your most feminine, authentic self.
Most women buy into the lie that "men don't like emotions." But the truth is, a man LOVES emotions. He yearns for a woman who can help him feel his own feelings and therefore allow him to be himself. If you're not in touch with your feelings, he won't feel safe expressing his.
The trick is to learn exactly HOW to express your feelings - in words that will draw a man closer in an amazing way. The usual way we express our feelings comes out sounding either stifled, inauthentic or critical to a man, and does nothing to connect with his heart.
In my free newsletter, I'll teach you how to EXPRESS your feelings and really connect with a man and inspire his love. You'll learn what BODY LANGUAGE magnetizes a man and how to get his attention without "chasing" him or being fake in any way. And you'll learn how to create a relationship that satisfies you in ways you never dreamed possible.
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Rori teaches women how to effortlessly attract the right man and have the secure, close relationship they want. To learn specific words that will help you connect with a man's heart at every stage of your relationship, subscribe to Rori's free e-newsletter. You'll also learn how to handle your feelings when a man becomes distant from you and how to respond to him so that he can't help but want to be connected with you again.
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