A discovered extramarital affair of your partner is indeed devastating and knowing that you have been betrayed by the one you love will surely turn your world upside down.
Overcoming pain from marital infidelity is a long and tedious process but if both parties are willing to give the marriage another shot and believes that divorce is not the end of it all it is still possible for a happily ever after. Healing from infidelity requires both parties' cooperation. {relatedarticles}
If you are trying to make things work to keep the marriage together, you will have to accept the reality that this journey will not be an easy ride and will take more than the usual effort to put things together. Even the betrayed spouse should do conscious efforts to ignite the love and rebuild the trust again.
For the unfaithful partner, it will mean double effort to prove that you are sorry and commit that you will be honest a hundred percent this time around. It will be nice to lay all the facts of the affair so the other partner would also realize his/her shortcoming.
Next is to be sorry about it. Remorse is the key in mending anything broken. Admitting to the mistake is the only way your spouse could even consider taking you back. Change your lifestyle. Accept the new rules that will be stated by the betrayed spouse like no boy's night out or dinner dates with clients of the opposite sex again. Avoiding the scenes that led you to infidelity would be a good sign for your partner to start trusting you again.{relatedarticles}
On the other hand, the betrayed party also has steps to consider when healing from infidelity. First, you must clearly point out what must be done to regain your trust once again. Only you can decide what can mend your broken heart so it is best to make it clear. Choosing to forgive is probably the hardest step but it is necessary in order for both of you start over with clean slates. Lastly, spend time and avoid having to bring back the affair topic again. This way healing from infidelity might be faster for both of you.
Rebuilding a marriage is another leap for the both of you not only to restore your family but also for self-contentment and maturity
About The Author
Contact Tammy to find out more about How to Survive Infidelity and get your free 6 Steps to Surviving Infidelity Report; learn more in
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If you've been to a movie theater recently, you probably noticed that films about open, or "no strings," relationships are very hot right now. These flicks are usually typical romantic comedies in which two people who initially began an affair with no plans for commitment eventually - usually after many comically choreographed disasters and challenges - end up realizing that they are soul mates and live happily ever after.
While it's great that non-traditional relationships are getting attention in mainstream media, these depictions are not very close to reality. Your experience with an open relationship will depend on many factors, but it's smart to take these factors into consideration before making a decision about the kind of arrangement you ultimately choose. Before you hang an "OPEN" sign on your relationship, keep this in mind. {relatedarticles}
Dispelling Myths and Setting Boundaries
There are many common myths and misunderstandings when it comes to open relationships. It's best to get these cleared up before exploring this lifestyle further.
Myth 1: Open relationships are a recent trend. The reality is that people have been having mutually agreed-upon, non-monogamous relationships for thousands of years. The only difference is that contemporary attitudes about sex and relationships have made it easier for people to be honest about their arrangements.
Myth 2: People in open relationships have lots of sex with lots of people and take sexual risks. Not necessarily. For most couples, the reality of non-monogamy does not involve orgies every weekend. People in open relationships have jobs, families and other responsibilities like everyone else and aren't focused on finding sex partners all the time. The only difference is that if and when they do meet someone they are attracted to, they have the option of following the attraction without guilt. Interestingly, studies show that people in mutually agreed-upon, open relationships have lower rates of STDs than those who are simply cheating behind their spouses' backs.{relatedarticles}
Myth 3: There must be something wrong with your partner or the relationship if you want to open it up. Many couples who choose non-monogamy are satisfied with their partners and value their primary relationships. However, they may feel that humans feel sexually attracted to many people in a lifetime and sometimes may want to explore their desires.
Myth 4: Opening up a relationship dooms it to fail. Occasionally, couples who are unhappy but reluctant to end their relationship may sometimes try and "open up" the relationship in order to shop around for a new significant other from the comfort of their current arrangement. This is a symptom of an already troubled bond and a misuse of non-monogamy. Many couples have found that an open relationship works fine for them when practiced correctly. That's not to say it's easy; jealousy, insecurities and dishonestly can wreck an open relationship easily, which is why you should choose to embark on one only if you know the risks. It's very important to have a solid, healthy relationship between you and your partner before venturing into non-monogamy.
There are many types of non-monogamous relationships. Most dating relationships technically begin as open, when both people are still determining their compatibility. Some couples choose to keep their relationships casual longer than others. This can work as long as both people agree and one does not end up falling hard for the other and secretly wanting a commitment. This can (and often does) get tricky! In more established, committed couples, an open relationship is one in which there are two primary partners, and they have an agreement that allows each to have outside affairs, but share a commitment to remaining with their primary partner in a loving relationship.{relatedarticles}
There are other, alternative versions of open relationships that are more unconventional. For example, polyamory, in which the relationship involves 3 or more people in a loving, committed bond. This is much like the plural marriage found in some sects of Mormonism and other cultures around the world. In other kinds of arrangements, some couples choose to have their sexual adventures together, whether among friends or at swinging clubs. Scared yet? These alternative lifestyles are definitely not for everyone, and nobody should be pressured into sexual arrangements that go against their faith or morals. Ultimately, it's up to you. But whatever you choose, be sure to set ground rules.
Having ground rules is a must if you want your open relationship to be successful. Some couples may have rules limiting what sexual acts they choose to do with non-primary partners or have other ways of ensuring that the alternate lover does not usurp the primary's position. If you're the alternate sex partner in a non-monogamous relationship, understand that you have rights and that your position differs from that of being the "other woman" in a cheating situation. Don't be afraid to speak your mind and discuss your concerns if you feel you're not being respected.{relatedarticles}
Jealousy
One of the first objections raised by critics of open relationships is that it's impossible to share someone you love with another person. The jealousy would drive you crazy and eventually lead to the end of the partnership. It's not surprising that this is the first thing that comes to mind; jealousy is often seen as an expression of love and is celebrated and encouraged in popular media. The truth is that jealousy is not a sign of true love, nor is it a healthy, positive emotion. The 1960s counterculture preached sexual openness as the root of peace and social reform because it requires selflessness and logical thinking rather than possessiveness and raw, destructive emotion. In many ways they were correct.
While the flower children may have had a point, their ideals do not always translate easily to our modern relationships. Jealousy can be an extremely difficult emotion to overcome. It's rooted in fear of loss, insecurities and many other deep primal anxieties that are not easy to get rid of overnight. Ideally, people who are in successful open relationships usually are a) not very prone to jealousy and b) able to confront and deal with jealousy by talking extensively with their partners and setting boundaries so they feel more in control of the non-monogamous arrangement. Couples' therapy can be a valuable tool for helping overcome jealousy.
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A picture is worth a thousand words, especially when it's of you in a compromising position.
It goes without saying that your assets are for his eyes only. However, some men and women find the notion of staging a sexy photo shoot exciting. Whether you are looking for pictures to share with your Facebook friends or keep hidden in the top drawer, there are certainly a number of common practices so you can get the best outcome for your endeavors.
If you don't think you have the skills, don't worry; you'll learn everything you need to do to capture your sexiest looks here. But remember, pictures last a lifetime. You're doing a photo shoot at your own risk. There is always the outside chance that these pictures could fall into the wrong hands. Before you get down and dirty in front of the lens, make sure the pros outweigh the cons. If you really want to play it safe, destroy all of the evidence once presenting your hot pics.
Finding the Perfect Camera
If the most advanced camera in your collection is your phone, you've got two options -- upgrade or borrow a camera from a friend or family member. Cell phone cameras don't have enough pixels to give you beautiful, clear images. In other words, you want the most noticable aspect of the pictures to be your sexy curves, not pixelated dots and poor image quality.
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That's not to say you need a professional camera. You just need one that has at least 12 megapixels. The more, the merrier.
Deciding Who Will Take the Picture
For the best pictures, it helps to have someone take the pictures so you can pose freely. If you don't have anyone you feel comfortable posing in front of, opt for a tripod. In order for this option to work, the camera must have an automatic timer.
Obviously, having your significant other play photographer makes it a fun after-hours activity for both of you.The choice is yours -- have the pics done for him, by him or both. Keep in mind that with sexy photo shoots focus is everything. In other words, keep him focused on your session so he doesn't get distracted and want to move onto other activities.
Setting the Scene
Setting the scene is the most important part of your sexy photo shoot. A messy room or random items can quickly distract from your beauty. Pretend you're a professional. Choose a location that is simple yet elegant.
Once you have the location, you'll need to set up the background in your photos. Here are some ideas:
- Drape sheers over your curtain rods to dress up a boring window.
- Sprinkle rose petals everywhere.
- Get some new pillows and place them naturally on the bed, couch or wherever you will be posing.
- Get some satin or silk sheets for your bed; they come out great in photos.{relatedarticles}
Deciding What to Wear
It's all about the lingerie with sexy photo shoots, unless you want to do them in the nude. Do some shopping to purchase at least a couple of different outfits that you think he will enjoy seeing on you. Less is more in this case, so don't be afraid to show yourself off in those see-through or barely-there lingerie outfits.
Think about colors, too. You want something that complements you but also goes well with the scene. Pair up red rose petals with a black outfit for the perfect yin and yang. If you have black silky sheets, choose a red outfit, so you'll really pop in the photos.
Taking the Photos
Before you even take a picture, visualize how you want the picture to look. Think of the poses you want to do, and vogue. Remember, practice makes perfect.
Think about the light in the room, too. Don't rely on candlelight to produce a glow you'll be proud of in your photos. It just doesn't work. Instead, turn on your lights, get a spotlight, or use the sunlight. The more light you have the better your photos will look.
Think about the shadows you make when you are taking the pictures as well. You don't want a shadow hiding your sexiest features. Sometimes aiming a flashlight directly at yourself can avoid the shadows.
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Don't forget that the camera picks up more than you can see in a mirror. Put on more makeup than you normally do to hide any imperfections. And don't forget nail polish for your fingers and toes; your man will notice them. Give yourself a model makeover.
Smiling can sometimes make a sexy photo look too cheesy. Instead of smiling, show your pouty or serious face. Think about how much you want your man when taking the pictures, and tell him with your facial expressions. It can help to practice your looks in a mirror before taking the pictures.
Don't be afraid to add in some extras while you are taking the photos. For x-rated photos, embrace the power of suggestion by incorporating some sex toys into the mix. We're not talking about using them, simply keeping them in the bacground. You can drape some of the other sex items around you that you normally use on him, as just a tease. Once again, keep in mind that you shouldn't take any pics that you wouldn't want to get out.
Posing Ideas
- Stand in front of a window. Bend one knee slightly just in front of the other leg. Lean against a wall while extending your body up. Place one arm up, and the other hand on your neck as you look up.
- Lay on your back with your legs open. Handcuff yourself to the bed, and give him a look of desperation.
- Get wet in the shower, and take close-up photos of sudsy areas, such as your breasts.
- Bend over as if you are picking something up.
- Get on all fours, as if you are doing it doggy-style. Take the picture from behind and look back.{relatedarticles}
How to Get Over Being Bashful
These are sexy photos, so be sexy in them. Your man has seen you naked plenty of times, so don't think he will see anything that he hasn't seen before.
Let yourself love your body. Be free when you pose. Don't think about the way you look, and just give him the photos he really wants to see of you.
If you still can't do it, consider cropping your face out of them. That way, you aren't identifying yourself in the photos, which could make it easier to pose for them.
How to Present Them to Your Man
After you have the PG photos printed, you can put them in a photo album. Consider setting up a sexy bedroom scene for a night of fun, and place them all around the room. You could also upload them to your computer, make a slideshow, and put sensual music to it.
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No matter how you choose to present your photos, the work you've put into taking them will be well-received. You'll be amazed at how excited he will be about your sexy photo shoot.
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