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Today's Love Tip
For many couples, sex doesn’t start until the lights go out. And it’s no coincidence. A survey conducted by Glamour magazine found that 40 percent of women aren’t happy with their bodies. Such a startling statistic might... Read More
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7 People You Should Never Sleep With

Romantic relationships are often filled with many exciting twists and turns. But just because you feel that special tingle for someone doesn't mean you're a good match. There are boundaries that always need to be considered, even if you honestly think you've met the love of your life.

So before you schedule any candlelit dinners, take a look at this list of seven people who you should steer clear of romantically at all costs.

Your Doctor

Doctors have a special role in our society. They're regarded as heroes in many senses and with good reason. Whether your physician detects a life-threatening illness or gives you psychological feedback that improves your overall outlook, it's natural to look up to any doctor who has helped you.

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However, your gratitude should be expressed by paying the bill on time, not sharing your body in an intimate way. Sadly, some doctors take advantage of their patients' vulnerability and extreme gratitude by crossing the line into the physical realm. And because there is an unspoken hierarchy of power in this kind of sexual relationship, the patient can feel no choice in the matter.


In fact, psychiatrists and psychologists in particular are able to exploit this reality more than any other type of physician because of the emotional weakness of their patients.

But you don't have to be a victim. If you make your boundaries clear, you can prevent yourself form being manipulated into any kind of sexual relationship with a doctor. It's best to keep this acquaintance on a professional level where it belongs.

Your Lawyer

Like all interactions with your doctor, the relationship you share with your lawyer should be just as straightforward for many of the same reasons. But there is an added incentive for not stepping into any sexual escapades with your attorney. Such an action could negatively affect the ability to advise you as objectively as possible.

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The Code of Ethics exists because of this very conflict. Any appearance of impropriety could also cause problems between a lawyer and his or her firm, which can only make things so much worse for everyone involved.


Furthermore, the stress of a court case may cause you to feel more susceptible to romance, especially if you look at your lawyer as your true protector. The intensity and the anxiety of any kind of legal matter can stir up sexual feelings that will just get in the way of resolving the issues at hand.

So to eliminate any needless complications, think of your lawyer as a hired specialist, not a potential bedmate.

Your Boss

Sleeping with your boss is never a good idea. Once again, the inequality of power in this relationship is a major reason to avoid any sexual entanglement. You will never be a peer or a partner with someone who has such undue influence over your career.

Even more importantly, by allowing yourself to enter into a sexual relationship with your boss, you could be jeopardizing your entire professional future.

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Every relationship has its issues. But romantic problems with a boss who controls every facet of your job may lead to disaster. Performing your professional duties can't help but suffer under these circumstances. You also may be opening yourself up to a company investigation of sexual harassment, which can serve to damage your reputation in the long run.


While it may be tempting to jump into bed with the boss, don't take this leap. It could cost you a career you've worked hard to attain.

Your Best Friend

Close friendships are important connections in life. Many of them take years to build, developing trust and a special understanding of the other person that can only happen over time.

When best friends move from a platonic bond to something sexual, both people are taking a big risk. The entire dynamic of the friendship instantly changes, never to return to its original state. With sex comes different emotions and a new level of attachment that could ruin what once was the perfect friendship.

Although there are cases where best friends have evolved into a successful couple, that isn't the norm. So before you share your feelings with a pal of several years, make sure you understand that you could be sacrificing a longtime friendship for a romp in the hay.

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Your Employee

Just like sleeping with your boss is a bad idea, so is a romantic encounter with an employee. The same principles are in play. This time, however, you're the one in the power seat. But the results may turn out exactly the same.


Not only do you risk a sexual harassment lawsuit, but your entire reputation may be scarred for years to come. Work duties, which are the reason you're at the office in the first place, may fall by the wayside, too.

Keep your professional contacts on a professional basis, even if you're tempted by a cutie who comes your way. Sex with an underling is not worth the potential sacrifices you might have to make in the long run.

Your Co-Worker

Although there may not be a power dynamic in sleeping with a co-worker, other problems could be just as damaging. For one thing, there are boundary issues. It's harder to focus on getting your work done, if your significant other is always in the office with you. And if your relationship is going through some rocky times, good luck separating the personal and the professional aspects of your interaction.

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You may also feel claustrophobic because whether you're at home or at work, you're always together. That means you have no time to breathe. Over time, you might also feel that work defines the relationship you share, making it more difficult to grow as a couple.


It's natural to find co-workers attractive, especially if you spend many hours together. But think about how your work atmosphere could change for the worse, if you move this relationship into the bedroom.

Your Relative

Sex with a relative is always taboo unless the particular family member is a million times removed from your bloodline. But even then, it's a bit on the iffy side. There's the chance that any children that come of this union could face life with some kind of deformity. You also might encounter tension with other relatives because of your sexual relationship.

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For many reasons, it's best to keep your familial relations on a platonic level. There are plenty of appealing people who don't share your DNA to choose from.


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Revealed! 4 Secrets to Great Sex

Great passionate sex is the best! It helps your relationship last and get better and better over time. Sex releases endorphins, which elevate mood and lower stress and pain levels. After having sex, each partner associates feeling good with the other. Testosterone, the sexual hormone engine for both men and women, also generates feelings of connection. And finally, having sex drives up levels of oxytocin (the cuddle, tend & befriend hormone), which explains why for many men, (and women) having sex is usually synonymous with feeling intimate and close. So how do you create great sex? Read on for some top sex secrets!{relatedarticles}

Sex Secret #1- Novelty

Dopamine is one of the infatuation brain chemicals that gives us that awesome over-the-moon feeling. It is produced when we first fall in love and then through new and novel activities keep dopamine infatuation going. Well, nothing keeps the dopamine going more than novelty in bed. So sex secret #1 is: vary the places you make love, vary the way you set the stage through candlelight, a bubble bath, feathers, sex toys, whipped cream, or new kinds of lingerie and sexy outfits.

Vary your foreplay and try different sexual positions. You might end up laughing yourselves silly as you experiment. Neither my husband nor I is a gymnast, so some of the Kama Sutra is a laugh riot for us. The most important sex secret is: Take it all as fun and games. In the end, make sure that both of you are fully satisfied no matter whether that's achieved orally, manually, or through intercourse.


Sex is a wonderful gift to be enjoyed and shared by both of you. Good, frequent sex promotes your own physical and mental health, that of your partner, and the vitality of the relationship. Among other things, it is associated with a reduced incidence of breast cancer in women who have never had a child, more restful sleep, greater pain relief, elevation of mood, looking younger, overall fitness, longevity, and happiness!

Sex Secret #2 - Sexual Trance

Sexual trance involves an inward focus where each partner focuses on his or her own pleasure and sensations and creates a fulfilling sexual release. In win- win sex, each of you is pleasured and finds a strong release in orgasm. Learn by experimenting so that you know what works for your partner and what works for you. This is an important sex secret.{relatedarticles}

Sex Secret #3 -----Learn What Works for Your Partner

In order to learn what works for your partner, try touching, massaging, licking, or stimulating all the different parts of the body. Observe and ask questions about what feels good. Try different sexual acts, variations of intercourse positions and oral sex.


Sex Secret #4 -----Know What Works for You

Ultimately you are responsible for knowing your body and creating the conditions for your own sexual pleasure. You can work on this by using what sex therapists call sensate focus. This simple but effective sex secret technique requires only that you be in an undisturbed place where you playfully touch and stimulate different parts of your body and learn about what sensations feel good to you. This is especially important for women.{relatedarticles}

My sex advice is, the more you know about your own body, the better your lover will be able to please you. Guide him or her by saying positive things like, "I love it when you stroke my breast gently." Or "I would love you to use your magic mouth on my tummy and work your way down." This is a critical sex secret.

You can learn much more about sex secrets and creating passionate lasting love in my relationship advice book, "Sealing the Deal: The Love Mentor's Guide to Lasting Love." So pick up a copy. Everyone can use a little sex advice to spice up their lives!


Diana Kirschner, Ph.D. has been a frequent guest psychologist on The Today Show & authored the highly acclaimed relationship advice book, Sealing the Deal: The Love Mentor's Guide to Lasting Love as well as the best-selling dating advice book, Love in 90 Days. Dr. Diana's revolutionary work is the basis of her PBS Special on love. Connect with Dr. Diana through her FREE Relationship Tips and Dating Advice Newsletter.


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