Are you looking to take command in the bedroom? Maybe your partner has made the request, and you don't know where to start. Or you've always wondered what it would be like to exercise full control over just what happens (and doesn't happen) between the sheets. Our guide will outline 5 tips and tricks to help you become the dominant force in the bedroom.
Tip #1 - Communicate and Initiate
Sometimes women are reticent about communicating their sexual desires to their partners, including what turns them on, what methods works for them and precisely what needs to happen for them to finish.
So the first step is to know thyself - self-pleasuring is the best way to know for sure what exactly is going on down under. If you don't know what you like, how could you ever expect your lover to know? Once you are thoroughly familiar with what turns you on, be vocal and don't be shy - let him know that you are enjoying what's happening and what isn't working.{relatedarticles}
Now this might be fine and dandy for a regular old romp in the hay, but you're here to take control, right? Once you are comfortable communicating your physical responses to your partner, you can take the liberty of being more aggressive.
Be the one to initiate sex, and tell him you are taking control. Give specific instructions on just where you want to be touched and how, and speak with authority. It's OK to feel somewhat silly when you are first trying out your inner dominatrix, and it's OK to break character to laugh. Confidence will come with experience and practice. Just remember to have fun with this new erotic adventure.
Tip #2 - Be a Flirt and a Tease
Anticipation is a powerful tool. In fact, the lead-up to the actual touch can be even more exhilarating than the touch itself. So take your time and let him know that you will get to him when you're ready. If he protests, reaffirm that you are the one deciding the tempo of this affair.
You could begin with a striptease, allowing him to look but not touch. Another move is the reverse striptease - allowing your lover to see you naked, perhaps in the morning before work, then dressing and preventing any physical contact for the whole work day - which will plant seeds that can only be realized several hours later.{relatedarticles}
Teasing with touch when he's still fully clothed and removing clothing piece by piece when you are ready will draw out the experience. If you suspect he is getting too excited, pull back or focus on another body part.
The key here is taking things slowly. Be flirty, tell him how attractive he is and compliment his body. Tell him exactly what you are going to do to him without doing it (at least not yet). The more he pleads with you, the more you'll know you've done the job well.
Tip #3 - Exercising Restraint
Even when you've asserted that you are the one in control, your partner may not be able to heed your words. If you've informed him he's not to touch you yet, but he does anyway, some form of restraint may be in order.
Using silk rope or hand and ankle cuffs are good introduction to the world of light bondage. If you are planning to incorporate a little bondage in your routine, it's important to talk to your partner first and obtain consent. You should also agree on a stop word. If your lover is initially uncomfortable with the idea of being restrained, you could start with some loose ties that are easy to break free of.{relatedarticles}
As trust is gained, you can up the ante with restraints that truly will confine. You don't necessarily need ropes and cuffs to accomplish this task; you simply could use your body weight to hold his hands down. Blindfolding is another effective way to deny visual pleasure while increasing sensitivity to physical touch.
Tip #4 - Get on Top
Riding cowgirl is the most effective way for a women to control the pace and pleasure of lovemaking. Oftentimes it takes much more stimulation for a woman to reach climax than a man. Experiment with different postures like reverse cowgirl, sitting upright or leaning back, holding him tightly torso-to-torso, or both of you in a sitting position.
From the top position, you can gyrate your hips in a circular motion to hit just the right spots. You are also in control of the thrusting rhythm, giving you power over the speed of things. Grinding your pelvises together will also provide some invigorating clitoral stimulation. Being on top also limits his range of motion, ensuring your sexual escapades will last even longer.
Tip #5 - Be Open to New Experiences
You won't become that sexual force to be reckoned with if you aren't willing to try new things. Exercising control in the bedroom doesn't mean you need to don leathers and a whip. The play for power is sexy business and one you can wield with confidence when you are comfortable with yourself and your partner.{relatedarticles}
There are lots of resources out there, like books and workshops, on the art of female dominance, so check out your local bookstore and community listings. Get some inspiration from movies with strong female-driven love scenes like Clint Eastwood's The Rookie and Nine 1/2 Weeks. Experimenting with role-play can help to quash the jitters and help you to embody an "I'm the boss" type of persona.Read More
If your vagina is on fire, it's time to get some help. No one ever wants to talk to people about vaginal burning, which is why we're going after all the embarassing problems women experience "down there" that cause a burning sensation.
About Vaginal Burning, Irritation and Itching
Women who have never had vaginal problems before tend to worry there's a serious medical condition as soon as they start having symptoms. The good news is that it's usually nothing to worry about, and it can be treated easily with medication.
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Chemical Irritants
The first thing to think about is if you have changed your body soap, toilet paper, laundry detergent or dryer sheets. If you have, then the different chemicals may irritate your vagina. Simply change back to what you were previously using or opt for products that cater to sensitive skin.
Frequent Sex or Rough Sex
Women who have frequent or rough sex have a greater risk of suffering from vaginal irritation and burning. Sex causes friction, and this can tear vaginal tissue, even if you use lubrication.
While it can be difficult to see the cuts on your vagina, you might notice your nether regions are red and irritated.
The best treatment for this is to avoid sex for a few days until your vagina has healed. To prevent it from happening, avoid frequent or rough sex.
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Bacterial Vaginosis
A bacterial infection, also known as bacterial vaginosis, can cause burning in the vagina. With this type of infection, bad bacteria from various sources grow in the vagina. While symptoms vary with bacterial vaginosis, most women experience discharge and a fishy odor along with burning and irritation.
To treat the infection, your doctor will prescribe antibiotics. Medication typically rids your body of the infection and stops the burning within a few days.
Yeast Infection
A yeast infection, or vaginal candidiasis, is one of the most common reasons why women experience irritation. In fact, 3 out of 4 women will have a yeast infection in their lives.
When a woman has a yeast infection, she has yeast, or candida, excessively growing in her vagina or vulva. Most women will have a thick, white discharge, plus burning and itching when they have this type of infection.
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To treat a yeast infection, doctors typically prescribe an antifungal medication. Some women receive oral medication, while others receive creams, suppositories or ointments to use in and on the vagina. Your history of yeast infections and the intensity of your symptoms will determine your specific treatment regimen.
Sexually Transmitted Disease (STD)
This is what many women worry about when they feel their vaginas burning. Luckily, there's a greater chance of having a bacterial or yeast infection than an STD, especially if you've had protected sex.
If you haven't had protected sex, you may have contracted an STD. Some of the most common ones that include a burning sensation as a symptom include chlamydia, genital herpes, genital warts, trichomoniasis and gonorrhea.
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To treat an STD, a doctor will normally prescribe an antibiotic and request you come in for a follow-up appointment to make sure you no longer experience symptoms. It's important to treat an STD as soon as possible because it can cause internal problems if left untreated.
Lichen Sclerosus
While this condition is rare and occurs mainly in postmenopausal women, some younger women do suffer from it. You can tell if it is lichen sclerosis by using a mirror to inspect your vagina.
If you see white patches on the vagina and vulva, you most likely have the condition and should contact your doctor for treatment. Many doctors prescribe a steroid cream for this condition, as it reduces the inflammation associated with the condition.
Vulvodynia
One of the most misunderstood vaginal conditions is vulvodynia. The medical community is baffled by this condition and can't explain why it happens. They suspect that many women have a genetic predisposition for it. Immune deficiencies, hormones, nerve connection abnormalities, oxalates in urine and chronic inflammation are other considerations for possible causes.
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Most sufferers feel pain at the opening of the vagina and the bottom of the vulva.
If you feel you may have this condition, seek medical attention. Your doctor can use a cotton swab to test for it by swabbing the site of the pain or burning.
Because not a whole lot is known about this condition, there are many options for treatment. Some women spend weeks or months searching for relief. The least invasive treatment is changing your diet to one that is low in oxalates. High oxalate levels in urine sometimes can cause vaginal irritation.
Some physicians also recommend taking a calcium citrate supplement of 1,500 milligrams. Some women respond well to tricyclic antidepressants and anticonvulsants because they reduce vaginal irritation.
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Others do better with steroid injections, which paralyze the nerves and relieve the pain. Surgery is the last resort and involves removing the painful part of the vulva.
Speaking to Your Doctor about Vaginal Burning
While it may not be easy to speak to your doctor about your vaginal issues, it's imperative you address your concerns if you don't believe they are from frequent or rough sex or a chemical irritation. The longer you wait, the worse the condition can become, and that means more pain.
To make your discussion with your doctor easier, write a list of all your symptoms. When your doctor asks you what you've been experiencing, you can simply take out your list and read from it. This way, your anxiety won't get in the way of remembering all of the issues you are having.
It's likely your doctor will ask you questions about your sexual activities in the past few months. To avoid the embarrassment of having to answer these questions, give him the information as part of your symptoms. You can simply say, "I have not had any unprotected sex." or "I have had unprotected sex, and I fear I may have a STD because of the symptoms I've just listed."
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Always remember to report your history of any other vaginal problems. This can help the doctor diagnose you more easily and quickly.
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Boys will be boys.
Unfortunately, that can add up to one big headache for many women. Even the best guys have their flaws and habits that drive us up the wall; however, most man-mistakes aren't made purely to piss you off. We decode some of guys most mystifying and irritating behaviors.
Saying "I don't care" or "Whatever you think" every time you ask him for an opinion or decision.
Does your man go mute when you ask him how you look or get the deer in the headlights stare every time you talk about marriage? Don't write him off as uninterested or insensitive just yet. When guys aren't sure what you want they're afraid to say the wrong thing and would rather clam up than start a fight. The more comfortable you make him with sharing his thoughts and feelings, the more he will.
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It's also important to communicate clearly to him your needs and wants so that he can understand your feelings. By relating to where you are coming from, he will be better able to engage in a dialogue. If you have been dating for several months and he still doesn't speak up when you prompt him, you need to have a discussion about what's going on.
Not saying "I'm sorry."
After a big blowout when you can cut the tension with a knife, you might be thinking "this could all be over if he would just apologize" - but he doesn't budge. Even in the most PC times, many men have a hard time letting a woman get the last word. Most guys grew up in households seeing their fathers, grandfathers, and other men never apologize to the women in their lives. You can either suck it up and learn to accept his lack of progress or calmly explain to him that you are both equals in this relationship and that saying sorry doesn't emasculate him in any way.
He always wants sex at the worst times.
Men typically think of sex as a cure-all for any situation even an emotional one. They assume you will feel the same way. Just got laid off? Sex will take your mind of that. Having a fight with your best friend? Let's have sex to blow off that steam. It may seem like he's acting selfish, but he is only trying to help you the way he knows how. You can let him down gently and promise him a night of passion once your mood has passed or you can give it a chance to see if it actually works.
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He acts distant or mean to you when his friends are around.
When you spend time alone together your man may seem like the sweetest in the world, but when it comes to hanging with his crew he might act like he barely knows you. This typically goes back to the male-ego problem. Having his friends see him stroking your hair, holding your purse while you go to the bathroom, or blowing you a kiss from across the bar can totally blow his manly street cred. Either play it cool or skip the group hangouts altogether.
He remembers the score of a basketball game three years ago but can't remember anything you talked about yesterday.
A man's relationship with sports probably started long before he met you. Guys have been watching and talking about sports for a long time whereas being in a relationship may be relatively new to them. In addition to a long-term relationship with sports, many men mark certain times in their lives as they coincide with sports events like the Super Bowl or World Series.
He always gets defensive when you say something negative about his mother.
As the first woman in their lives, moms will always hold a special place in a man's heart. Even if she's acting terribly, it will be hard for him to hear you talk badly about the woman who raised him. Your best bet is to grin and bare it and if you must broach the "mom" subject do so very, very carefully and gracefully.
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He acts like he doesn't like your friends.
Your man might come off cold or uninterested when meeting your gal pals but that's because he may not be able to keep them all straight. Guys tend to have a long-standing solid group of a few friends, whereas women probably have lots of separate social groups like college friends, co-workers, family friends, etc. He may not understand your level of commitment to each group so he isn't sure how friendly or invested he should get.
When you ignore him, he calls all the time but when you act interested he suddenly wants nothing to do with you.
This can be one of the most frustrating issues a woman can experience when dealing with a man and it can make you feel downright crazy, but there is a reason why. When you are not paying attention to a guy by doing your own thing and living your life you come off as confident but the minute you offer a man your attention his brain switches to a mode that makes him feel trapped.
This can be blamed on biology as men have innate need to show or signal to others that he is still available to procreate at a moment's notice. Some guys are better at controlling this than others and if you can't seem to get him to settle down after a few tries - move on. {relatedarticles}
So the next time you're grumbling and cursing him under your breath asking "WHY does he do that?!" you can turn to this guide to figure it out. Remember that just like you aren't perfect - neither is he. Rather than ignoring it, hoping he will change on his own, the best to way to tackle these issues is to keep an open mind and line of communication.
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