Sex can be exciting with your new guy for a while, but then it starts to get boring. Same position, same location, same time. What can you do to spice things up? Add some sex toys to the mix. Sure, the thought of sex toys can make even the naughtiest girl blush, but they can help you achieve pleasure like you've never felt before.
If you're looking to improve your sex life and give it that boost it needs, try out these 8 sex toys that every woman should own.
The Vibrator
The most common sex toy, the vibrator, is one that every women wants in her pleasure chest. Sure, it's basic, but it's a good toy to start out with, especially if you're experimenting with sex toys for the first time. There are many types of vibrators, and they come in many sizes. When choosing a product, look for one that is fairly quiet and effective in stimulating the clitoris area.
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You should also look at features such as the ability to adjust the intensity and speed. Many women hop all over The Rabbit vibrator because it creates sensation in the vagina as well as the clitoris. You can even buy a waterproof Rabbit, so it can be used anywhere you feel the urge.
The Couple's Vibrator
A couples' vibrator is a good choice if you have trouble experiencing orgasm during intercourse. A couple's vibrator is smaller than a regular vibrator and allows you just enough extra penetration to get the job done, so to speak. Its smaller size doesn't interfere with your partner's rhythm, and its vibrations may even enhance your partner's experience, guaranteeing a good time for both of you.
The G-Spot Wand
A G-spot wand is essential if you are looking for something like a vibrator but without the vibrating. A G-spot wand is made of heavy-duty stainless steel (used for hip replacements) and is curved for your added pleasure. It's perfect if you enjoy ample penetration. The NJOY Pure wand comes highly recommended on many websites. According to many users, the name says it all.
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The Silver Bullet
If you are more into clitoral stimulation, a silver bullet may be just what you need. A silver bullet is an egg-shaped metal device that is basic and cheap but definitely hits the spot. You use it directly on your clitoris and can adjust the pressure by using the attached remote. Definitely a hands-down favorite for many women!
The Cock Ring
How about a toy for your man? Aptly called the Big O Vibrating Ring, this device can help both of you experience greater sexual pleasure. Placed on the base of the man's penis before it becomes erect, a cock ring allows blood to flow into the penis but not outward.
This vibrating ring helps the penis sustain a harder erection and stimulates the clitoris during intercourse. Most are made of rubber or steel. Keep in mind that a cock ring must be sized carefully, or they can result in a too-erect penis, which can be painful and embarrassing, requiring a trip to the doctor. However, for those who use this toy properly, it is a fun way to enhance any sexual relationship.
Anal Beads
For those looking to experiment with anal sex, start with anal beads. Made of silicone, the beads come in various sizes, so beginners as well as pros can experiment with them. Just add some lubrication, and they can be used for both men and women.
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Lubricants
A little lubrication can definitely go a long way. Whether you're feeling dry as the desert down there or looking to experiment with anal sex, a lubricant is effective in increasing pleasure. Lubricant is a jelly used to replace or supplement a woman's vaginal lubrication.
In the past, oil-based lubricants were in demand. However, they created bacteria inside a woman's vagina. They also destroyed latex, making them impossible to use with condoms. Therefore, it is recommended to use water-based lubricants only. When used inside a condom, lubricants can make sensations even stronger for the man.
Interesting note: although most people use regular KY Jelly for sexual intercourse, KY Jelly is actually made for the medical environment and is not long-lasting. Therefore, you should choose another brand, one made specifically for sex, such as Astroglide or Aqualube.
The Blindfold
How about using something in the bedroom that's as simple and easily available as a blindfold? Probably not the kinkiest type of sex toy available, but a blindfold creates an element of surprise, which can be incredibly sexy. Imagine the excitement you will feel by not being able to see what your partner will do next. Blindfolds, especially silk ones, can make bedtime much more exciting and allow your imagination to run wild.
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One of the hurdles you may face when using sex toys is that your partner may disapprove of them. He may feel embarrassed or upset that he cannot satisfy you fully. He may view sex toys as a replacement for him. Therefore, it's important to let him know the benefits of you using sex toys. By using them, you are finding out what turns you on, where you like being touched and the intensity at which you enjoy it.
Sex toys can help you become more familiar with your body. If you can't pleasure yourself, then how can you expect your man to? You need to convince your guy that using sex toys will make your sex life better in the long run. They can spark your imagination and make sex much more fun and exciting every time.
Let's face it; achieving an orgasm makes a woman feel sexier, happier and more feminine. And what could be wrong with that? When you learn how to pleasure yourself, you're helping your partner in the process.
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You can show him where to touch you. It's OK to use objects other than your body parts to give you pleasure, so don't feel embarrassed or ashamed about using sex toys. Your sex life is private, and nobody needs to know what you do behind closed doors, except for you and your significat other.
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Is on-again, off-again the story of your life?
Plenty of couples break up to make up. It's an age-old dilemma that even the best of us face. As romantics, we're often compelled to rekindle that troubled romance and take another shot at love. But is it really okay to reconcile with your ex?
Only you can say for certain what is right or wrong for your situation, but our friendly advice and little nuggets of wisdom will hopefully provide some food for thought during this period of soul searching.
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What caused the breakup?
It's important to think back and try to be objective about what led to the split. Regardless of whether it was mutual and amicable, or if you were the dumper or the dumpee, there is almost always a reason behind the split. Far too often we tend to gloss over the negative and focus entirely on the positive in times like these; the heart wants what it wants, as they say.
Ask yourself the following questions and answer them honestly:
- How would reconciling affect the nature of the relationship?
- Would anything change?
- What made you unhappy when you were together?
- Who or what was at fault?
- What was good about the relationship?
- Did the breakup happen because of a single issue (for example, infidelity)?
- Was it something trivial (he didn't call when he said he would)?
- Was it a build-up of things that finally hit a boiling point? {relatedarticles}
When analyzing the pre-breakup relationship, it can be helpful to write down a pros and cons list. Be brutally honest with yourself. Small self-deceptions will only harm you in the long run so save yourself some heartache.
Actions Speak Louder than Words
Oftentimes, getting back together with an ex happens because we expect that person to have a major epiphany and change. Perhaps he has promised to curb his inconsiderate ways. The harsh truth is, we are who we are. Many a breakup has occurred throughout human history because we have tried to change the person with whom we're together. However, it's unlikely you'll ever witness the transformation you've been awaiting.
Idiosyncrasies included, you must accept the individual as he or she is. You can communicate your grievances, and he may even make genuine efforts to acquiesce to your demands in order to be with you. But saying you are going to do something is much different from actually living it. So be wary of promises. Take some time and observe the "change." If his actions revert back to the same old situation, you'll know that his words -- along with his promise -- were empty.
The Heart vs. The Mind
The epic internal dialogue, the subject of countless books and films, what's right: the heart or the head? The song doesn't lie: breaking up is hard to do. While your rational mind may be telling you that it's not worth the emotional rollercoaster ride, the heart wants to put a quick end to the heartache - it says, if it feels good do it.
Usually, the heart is victorious. When you break up all over again, the mind scoffs at the heart's weakness. These two entities don't have to be diametrically opposed. Sometimes they do sync. It's all about striking a balance, and experience dealing with both life forces will arm you with wisdom in the future.
Don't get stuck on the notion that he's "the one;" there are plenty of fish in the sea that are probably just right for you. Getting your heart broken a few times will force you to be more selective about who you let in, while allowing your mind to recognize the red flags as early warning signs not to continue in a bad relationship.
Even when we know it's wrong to get back with an ex, we do it anyway. Why? Sometimes we have to make our own mistakes in order to learn from them. As long as the relationship wasn't abusive in any way, it's okay to give yourself this permission. The point is to grow as a person, take what you can from the experience, and resolve not to walk the same path the next time.
The 5 Stages of Grief
The grieving process doesn't only apply to the death of a loved one. The 5 stages of grief can be used for breakups, too. Identifying where you stand with your grieving can shed some light on whether you're ready to take him back.
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- Denial - You are in a state of shock. You are trying to avoid the pain of this loss by refusing to accept that the relationship is over.
- Anger - Once the reality of it sets in, you feel like you have been treated unfairly and may lash out at him or others in your life.
- Bargaining - You or your former partner might make promises to change - that whatever caused the breakup won't happen again.
- Depression - The inner turmoil of the breakup, usually consisting of the inability to sleep, eat, or accomplish daily tasks.
- Acceptance - Moving on with your life and accepting the circumstances of the breakup, even making peace with your role in it.
The Logistics of a Relationship
Some breakups happen because of practicalities. For instance, one person is relocated out of state because of work or school. Additionally, a good relationship can begin too young and a desire to sow one's wild oats and experience what else is out there may emerge.
If you choose to try again, give yourself a time frame. If things aren't working out again, vow to end them after a set amount of time. After all, you could be much happier in a new relationship with someone who is appreciative and actively building a future with you than trying to resuscitate a failed relationship. A relationship should make your life better, not worse.
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Poet Kahlil Gibran once said: "If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. And if they don't, they never were." Sometimes we have to take our own roads in life, and if those paths have the chance to meet again, there's nothing wrong with picking up where you left off in your relationship.
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