The female orgasm is a subject that has received plenty of attention from scientists. In fact, it seems as though you can't go a week without hearing conflicting reports about whether the G-spot exists or if it is made up.
However, from arguments about whether the Big O is real to different theories regarding the reason for the female orgasm, it is obvious that there is still an aura of mystery surrounding women's bodies.
The answer to the question "do orgasms exist?" depends on the person you ask. According to an ABC News report, 75% of women have never reached orgasm from intercourse alone, while 10% to15% have never climaxed, even with additional stimulus (such as hands, mouth, etc). This is compared with the 98% of men who claim they always achieve an orgasm during sex.
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Women who have never experienced an orgasm can feel like something is wrong with them; in fact, this is seen time and time again on Internet forums and Yahoo answers. Even women who can climax with additional help may feel odd for not having an orgasm during penetrative sex. However, everyone's body is different and people experience pleasure in a number of ways.
Anatomy of an Orgasm
To understand the orgasm, you must first learn about the female anatomy. The clitoris, located on the outside of the body, and the vagina play a key role in the female orgasm. While stimulating other areas of the body, such as the breasts, may result in arousal, special attention must be paid to the genitals in order to reach climax.
During foreplay and intercourse, you may begin to feel lightheaded; this is because of a rush of blood to your clitoris and vagina. Next, your vagina walls will begin to secrete lubrication to prepare for penetration. As you become more aroused, blood will continue to flow to your pelvis, your vagina will narrow, your breathing will speed up, and your heart rate will increase.
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The orgasm occurs when the muscle and nerve tension in the pelvis, genitals, and thighs is released all at once in a series of waves. You may feel a number of contractions in the vagina, uterus, and anus; 3 to 5 contractions for a small orgasm and 10 to 15 for a large climax.
Your brain may also be affected by an orgasm, as researchers at the Netherland's University of Groningen have found that parts of the brain that control emotion and fear switch off during climax.
Types of Orgasms
Dr. Sigmund Freud was the first to suggest that women could experience 2 types of orgasms: clitoral and vaginal. Under his theory, clitoral orgasms are achieved by emotionally immature females, while women who are more sexually evolved are able to experience a vaginal orgasm.
Alfred Kinsey--a noted sex researcher--challenged Freud's claim, stating that females could only have 1 type of orgasm regardless of which part of the body is stimulated. Still other sex experts argue that there are 3 types of orgasms: clitoral, vaginal, and blended.
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Kinsey's research revealed that some women are able to experience an orgasm-a "dreamgasm", if you will-during their sleep. In fact, his 1953 study showed that 37% of his female subjects had experienced dreams resulting in orgasm by the time they reached 45 years of age. In this case, women who experience sleep orgasms have them an average of 3 to 4 times a year.
The G-Spot
You may have heard of the elusive G-Spot. The rumors regarding this erogenous zone, located on the anterior wall of the vagina, state that stimulation of the G-Spot will result in intense orgasms and pleasure. However, many scientists today argue that it does not exist.
The G-Spot was first discovered by Ernst Grafenberg, a German gynecologist, while performing research on urethral stimulation. This area was named after the doctor in a 1981 study on female ejaculation.
Using ultrasonography, researchers at the University of L'Aquila found that women who are able to have vaginal orgasms typically have thicker tissue in the front of the vaginal wall, allowing scientists to confirm whether or not a woman has a G-Spot.
The G-Spot is believed to be a bean-shaped area with spongy tissue of the paraurethral gland, which is similar to the male prostate. Composed of erectile tissue, this area swells when blood rushes to it during arousal. While the G-Spot is smaller than a quarter, it feels rougher than the tissue surrounding it.
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To find your G-Spot, you or your partner should insert a finger into your vagina and feel along your front wall (facing your stomach) with your finger slightly crooked. If you feel a rough or ridged area, chances are that you have found your G-Spot.
Achieving a G-Spot orgasm can be difficult, especially in the missionary position (unless a pillow or wedge is used). Many sexperts recommend the woman-on-top or doggy style positions if you want to obtain a G-Spot orgasm.
Orgasm Tips
If you are like one of the many women who have yet to have an orgasm, do not be discouraged. There are a number of tips and techniques that can help you reach climax, whether you are alone or with a partner.
You may have heard the old saying about men being like light switches-just flip them on and they are ready to go. However, women are more like boiling water, as it takes them longer to heat up. Keep this in mind before having sex. If you have difficulties climaxing, your partner should take more time during foreplay to ensure you are aroused.
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Prolonged clitoral stimulation is the key for many women. When your partner uses his hands, mouth, or even toys on your clitoris, this will increase tension that will ultimately result in an orgasm. Remember that each woman is different, and it may take some time to determine what works for you.
Stress can also affect your ability to climax. Feeling confident about your body and taking time to wind down can help you achieve an orgasm during intercourse.
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Things aren't always hot and heavy in relationships. Sometimes, life gets in the way, and you and your guy hit a dry spell in the bedroom. It could be because you've got a crazy busy work schedule and just can't make time for it, or maybe you guys have been together for years and you're just not as hot for each other anymore.
Either way, a lack of regular sexual intimacy can be a serious buzz kill in a relationship, not to mention it lowers your overall quality of life!
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If this sounds like you, it's time to ramp back up your libido and start having some great sex again. Just because your schedule is busy or you're tired is no excuse. In fact, we have a challenge for you: Have sex with your man every day this week. Yep, a full week straight of sex; that's seven heart-pumping, sweaty romps in the sack!
Sound like a tall order? Don't fret! To help you out, we have some great tips on how to make your week of amazing sex happen. You and your man will be out of that dry slump and back to getting sexy in no time.
Agree on it, Schedule It, and Make it a Point to Switch Roles
If you're going to meet the 7-day challenge, you both have to be on board and be ready to commit to it. There may be a day when one of you is tired or has other plans, so in order to make it happen all 7 days, you each need to hold each other accountable.
Have a frank discussion about the current state of your sex life, and impress upon your man that you think 7 days of sex could really help your sex life in the long-run. He'll probably find the idea of sex every night really hot, so we doubt he'll turn the down the challenge.
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Scheduling sex doesn't sound very sexy does it? Don't worry; we're not saying schedule every sex session for the entire week - just on the days you know you'll be busy. Sit down and look at your week's commitments: work, social engagements, gym time, etc.
If either of you has a day on which you know you'll be super strapped for time, schedule a time when you can fit sex in. It may be in the morning, right after you wake up, or maybe while the spaghetti noodles are boiling just before dinner time. Either way, scheduling a time period that works for both of you on busy days will help you avoid skipping a session.
Don't schedule all your romps, though. On the days you both have a little leeway with your time, keep the spontaneity in your sex life. Let your hormones do the planning.
Once a relationship is established, the person with the higher libido and sex drive (usually the guy) is almost always the initiator for sex. This gets old fast - for both people. The guy gets tired of having to do all the work, while the woman quickly tires of getting pressured for sex when she doesn't feel totally into it.
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So during your seven days of sex, make it a point to switch roles at least one of the days. If your guy is usually the initiator, ensure you're the one to start a spontaneous sexy session this week. Lay it on real hot and heavy, too. Your guy will find the role reversal to be a big turn-on!
Pull an All-Nighter, Try New Positions, Have a Quickie and Get Kinky
When's the last time you and your man stayed up all night exploring each other's bodies? If you're like most women in long-term relationships, it's probably been a while - most likely since the beginning of your courtship. So one night this week, probably a Friday or Saturday is best, make plans to stay in - all night.
Spend extended time on foreplay, and go for second and third rounds once you've both finished. You'll end up sweaty, exhausted and passed out in each other's arms in the wee hours of the morning, and what's sexier than that?
Surely there are some positions you and your guy haven't conquered. (If not, make one up!) Heck, you've never had 7 days straight of sex before, so why not make this a first time for something else, too?
Make it a point to get out of the standard missionary position and make things a little more excite. Try new positions you've seen in movies, or even grab a Kama Sutra or Tantra book and mimic some of those age-old poses. They work for Sting; there's no reason why they can't work for you.
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Nothing's hotter than an unscheduled romp in an unfamiliar place, so take advantage of these situations when they present themselves. Doing laundry? When your man passes by, pull him in and do it on the laundry room floor or on the pile of fluffy, clean towels. Cooking dinner?
Tease your man until he picks you up and does you on the counter! Is your guy in the shower? Sneak in and have a morning romp under the stream. Quickies like these are fun, exciting and hot!
You've got 7 days to get sexy, so now's the time to pull out all the stops. Go to a local sex shop and get some kinky items for the bedroom: handcuffs, blindfolds, whips, toys, vibrators and sexy lingerie outfits. Bring on the fun!
How about trying some role playing? Try the old nurse and patient game; that always makes guys hot! Overall, just make this week something both you and your man will remember. Be open and ready to try new things. You never know if you like something until you try it at least once!
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It's time to take back your sex life. If you've hit a dry slump, try our 7 days of sex challenge. With a little bit of effort (and a lot of fun!), you and your guy will be back at it under the sheets in no time
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The buzz word for saving a marriage nowadays seems to be "communicate'. It is as if it will automatically zip up all conflicts and resolve all hurts. It may seem a simple word but it can be quite difficult for one to practice.
There are some pointers for a couple with marital problems to learn the right communication skills before using them correctly to fix their communication in marriage problems. {relatedarticles}
Your spouse is the closest human relation on earth to you; hence it is your rightful duty, as per your marriage vows, to treat each other well. Each has to look out for the welfare of the other and give one's spouse the best of oneself. But most of us tend to react the other way; we are most polite to strangers but rude and critical with our spouse. We tend to take our loved ones for granted.
Hence, before good communication can happen between the married couple, they must remember their status in each other's lives and be given top priority at all times.
Communication between spouses
Communication is the process of conveying some message to another. Hence, the right words must be chosen as words, once delivered, cannot be retracted. It is so important to choose your words carefully so that the correct message is conveyed without inferences and guesswork. Always sort out your words first before voicing to avoid misunderstanding and create conflict.
This is especially necessary if your marriage is not too stable when you wish to communicate to resolve issues. Put yourself in your spouse's shoes to feel how your words might impact him/her.{relatedarticles}
Another point about communication is the timing. To have an effective communication, it must be done at the right moment. Do not try to communicate when one party is busy or not alert in mind. Your spouse may be sleepy or tired; there will be no positive impact and you will end up being frustrated with the brick wall of communication. Both parties should be calm and ready to deal with the issue at hand for a resolution. That will be the best time to communicate your feelings and thoughts without being accusing or defensive.
Avoid emotional outbursts which tend to turn the spouse away or shut off his mind. This kills all forms of resolution to any disagreement or conflict in the marriage. Raising voices and yelling at each other tear down respect for one another which causes more hurt and frustration.
Communication is conducive when the location is right. Crowded places or in front of your children will not do. The place should be comfortable and secure for both parties so that openness is encouraged. The bedroom is a good choice for privacy and a reflection of intimacy for good communication between the couple.
There are many ways to communicate effectively besides words; one can touch or embrace, give a smile or a kiss. These help to relax the other party and allow softer communication to take place which is more productive. Choose nonverbal gestures of communication to promote respect, love and desire to resolve marital conflict.{relatedarticles}
About The Author
MORGAN JOHNS is a relationship expert and the owner of http://www.howtosavemarriagetoday.com
Source of information about Communication in Marriage.Visit the website for a Free 10 Step Mini Course to Help Save Your Marriage.
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