The buzz word for saving a marriage nowadays seems to be "communicate'. It is as if it will automatically zip up all conflicts and resolve all hurts. It may seem a simple word but it can be quite difficult for one to practice.
There are some pointers for a couple with marital problems to learn the right communication skills before using them correctly to fix their communication in marriage problems. {relatedarticles}
Your spouse is the closest human relation on earth to you; hence it is your rightful duty, as per your marriage vows, to treat each other well. Each has to look out for the welfare of the other and give one's spouse the best of oneself. But most of us tend to react the other way; we are most polite to strangers but rude and critical with our spouse. We tend to take our loved ones for granted.
Hence, before good communication can happen between the married couple, they must remember their status in each other's lives and be given top priority at all times.
Communication between spouses
Communication is the process of conveying some message to another. Hence, the right words must be chosen as words, once delivered, cannot be retracted. It is so important to choose your words carefully so that the correct message is conveyed without inferences and guesswork. Always sort out your words first before voicing to avoid misunderstanding and create conflict.
This is especially necessary if your marriage is not too stable when you wish to communicate to resolve issues. Put yourself in your spouse's shoes to feel how your words might impact him/her.{relatedarticles}
Another point about communication is the timing. To have an effective communication, it must be done at the right moment. Do not try to communicate when one party is busy or not alert in mind. Your spouse may be sleepy or tired; there will be no positive impact and you will end up being frustrated with the brick wall of communication. Both parties should be calm and ready to deal with the issue at hand for a resolution. That will be the best time to communicate your feelings and thoughts without being accusing or defensive.
Avoid emotional outbursts which tend to turn the spouse away or shut off his mind. This kills all forms of resolution to any disagreement or conflict in the marriage. Raising voices and yelling at each other tear down respect for one another which causes more hurt and frustration.
Communication is conducive when the location is right. Crowded places or in front of your children will not do. The place should be comfortable and secure for both parties so that openness is encouraged. The bedroom is a good choice for privacy and a reflection of intimacy for good communication between the couple.
There are many ways to communicate effectively besides words; one can touch or embrace, give a smile or a kiss. These help to relax the other party and allow softer communication to take place which is more productive. Choose nonverbal gestures of communication to promote respect, love and desire to resolve marital conflict.{relatedarticles}
About The Author
MORGAN JOHNS is a relationship expert and the owner of http://www.howtosavemarriagetoday.com
Source of information about Communication in Marriage.Visit the website for a Free 10 Step Mini Course to Help Save Your Marriage.
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If you and your partner are a fun-loving couple with an exciting sex life, then you may have toyed around with the idea of making a sex tape. Making a sex tape can be a fun way to take your intimacy to new heights.
Watching you and your partner having sex can give your sex life an added boost and make sex much more thrilling. However, you need to have low expectations and a sense of humor, or you will be disappointed. Here are some things to consider if you are pondering whether or not a sex tape is a good idea for your relationship.
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Why You Should Make a Sex Tape
Watching yourself on video does 2 things: It appeals to your exhibitionism and your voyeurism. Many people feel more relaxed when they are naked and free from the barrier of clothing. Plus, you get the thrill of watching yourselves have sex. You watch strangers having sex when you watch porn, so watching your own sex tape makes the act that much more intimate.
Having you and your partner watch the act can bring you closer together. You may be able to think of ways to improve upon it or different positions that you can try for next time. You can critique the tape together and see what angles or positions didn't work and which ones you want to try again.
If you are usually the shy or modest type, a sex tape can help you come out of your shell. Who doesn't want to be an actress? Although this isn't a big-time Hollywood film, pretending to be a porn star for a few minutes can give your self-esteem that added boost.
Plus, if your body isn't perfect (and whose is?), filming a sex tape can give you extra confidence. Plus, it shows that your partner isn't ashamed of you and loves you no matter what, which is incredibly sexy.
Why You Should Not Make a Sex Tape
Yeah, you've heard about Pamela Anderson, Paris Hilton and other celebrities who made sex tapes that have been sold and make public. This may make you hesitant to make a sex tape, and who can blame you? The thought of your sex tape being in the wrong hands and made public for all your friends, family and neighbors to see can be very unsexy.
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Nothing would kill the mood faster. But there is a solution to this in one word: erase. When you and you partner are done viewing the tape, erase it. There's no need to keep the sex tape with all the other videos in your collection. You don't need to keep it for posterity. Some couples erase their sex tapes within hours of making them. If you want to hold on to yours for a little longer, keep it under lock and key in a safe.
You may also want to put a note on it that asks anyone who sees it to destroy it. This will be helpful in case something happens to you and you don't want your family to stumble upon it. Your best bet, though, is just to destroy it yourself after you're done watching it.
You should never make a sex tape with someone you don't know well or someone who you feel cannot be trusted. A sex tape definitely needs to be saved for a long-term, committed relationship. Never agree to do one with a one-night stand. You need to be clear of your partner's motives. The sex tape should be for your eyes only.
If you think your partner may try to use the tape against you or share it with his or her friends, then don't agree to one. A nasty breakup can cause the jilted lover to get revenge by leaking the tape to your friends and family. These are reasons why a sex tape can be risky and for many couples.
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How to Make a Sex Tape
If you and your partner have decided to go for it, there are some things you need to prepare for before the shoot.
First, make sure you have the right equipment. A small video camera is all that's needed. Something lightweight is preferred, since you will be passing it back and forth during the act. You can use a tripod, but with both of you shooting the action, you're in control and can shoot more appealing angles.
When choosing a camera, you don't need anything fancy with features you don't know how to use - remember, this isn't a Hollywood film. However, you shouldn't use something like a webcam, either. If you're going to make a sex tape, you want something that will give you decent quality.
Before shooting starts, check your body and make sure it is properly groomed. You will be recorded, after all. Take a shower right before you start filming and shave any extra-hairy parts: legs, bikini line, armpits, maybe your back. Look for any distracting pimples or stray hairs. Remember: the video camera can see areas of your body that you can't.
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Next, prepare the scene. Light some candles or use lamps to create lighting to set the mood. Make sure your bed sheets are clean - nothing screams unsexy more than dirty sheets. Clear the area and pick up messes off the floor.
Wear nice, sexy lingerie.
Before you get it on, you may want to indulge in a glass of wine or 2 to relax. Alcohol can take the edge off and make you less inhibited. However, the key is moderation. Too much alcohol can ruin a good time and your tape.
What to Expect
Again, you shouldn't expect your sex tape to look like a blockbuster film. If anything, it will probably be hilarious, so expect lots of laughs. Although there are some risks involved, a sex tape, when done properly, can be a fun way to be intimate with each other. As long as you take each other's privacy concerns into consideration and have a sense of humor, a sex tape can be a great way to take your relationship to another level.
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